Dr. Russell Kennedy is a neuroscientist specialising in anxiety treatment, a physician, and an author. Why is anxiety so common now? It once helped us survive, like when lions chased us. But today, we feel it even when there's no real threat. So what's going on? What does science say about this ancient emotion, and how can we manage it in the modern world? Expect to learn why anxiety is so common nowadays, the neuroscience of why we worry, the big differences between anxiety and worry, the biggest triggers of anxiety and how to manage them better, how to undo-chronic anxiety and how anxiety shows up differently for men and women, if it is it a blessing or a curse to feel things deeply, where people pleasing come from neurologically and much more…
Anxiety's Two Parts: The Fire in Your Body and the Smoke in Your Head
Chronic anxiety is not a single problem. It's a feedback loop between two distinct parts: the physical feeling of alarm in your body and the worrisome thoughts in your mind. To truly heal, you must understand their roles.
- The Fire (The Alarm): This is the root cause. It's a raw, physical sensation of distress—often felt as tightness in your chest, a knot in your stomach, pressure, or nausea. This "alarm" is frequently the stored energy of unresolved emotional wounds from childhood. When you were young and felt overwhelmed, scared, or unseen, those feelings were too much to process and got locked away in your nervous system. Your body, quite literally, "keeps the score."
- The Smoke (The Worries): These are the symptom. Your brain's logic centre (the prefrontal cortex) detects the fire burning in your body and scrambles to make sense of it. It generates a constant stream of "what-ifs" and worst-case scenarios to explain the feeling of danger. Worrying becomes a childhood coping mechanism—a way to distract yourself from the deeply uncomfortable physical alarm.
This creates the "Alarm-Anxiety Cycle." The alarm in your body fuels the worries in your mind, and your mind's obsession with the worries prevents you from ever soothing the underlying alarm. You end up trying to clear the smoke while the fire rages on.
Why You Can't Just 'Think' Your Way Out of Anxiety
Many people try to use logic and rational thought to fight their anxious thoughts, but this often fails. That's because you are using a thinking solution for a feeling problem. The worries are not the real issue; they are a distraction created by your brain.
Worrying can even become addictive. By creating a specific story about why you feel bad ("I'm going to get fired"), you create a false sense of certainty in an uncertain situation. This provides a tiny dopamine hit, reinforcing the habit of worry. Furthermore, this entire cycle is often run by the brain’s "Default Mode Network" (DMN)—its anxious autopilot. When you aren't focused on a specific task, your brain "defaults" to this network, which loves to chew on problems and engage your inner critic, trapping you in a loop of negative self-talk.
How to Heal: A Practical 3-Step Guide to Breaking the Cycle
The solution is to bypass the thinking mind and go directly to the source: the physical sensation in the body. This is a "bottom-up" approach that involves reconnecting your compassionate adult self with the wounded younger part of you that holds the alarm.
Step 1: Find and Name the Alarm
When you feel anxious, pause. Instead of getting lost in the story in your head, shift your focus into your body. Close your eyes and scan yourself from head to toe.
- Where is the physical epicentre of the feeling? Is it in your throat? Your chest? Your solar plexus?
- Give it a name and a description without judgment. For example: "There is a tight, hot ball of energy in my stomach." or "I feel a cold, heavy pressure on my chest."
- Simply noticing and naming the raw sensation separates it from the story your mind is telling you. You are no longer "anxious"; you are a person who is experiencing a sensation of tightness.
Step 2: Connect and Comfort
Now, instead of recoiling from the sensation, turn towards it with care. Place your hand directly over the spot where you feel it most intensely. This simple act of touch signals safety, presence, and care to your nervous system.
Then, breathe slowly and deeply *into* that area. As you inhale, imagine your breath creating space around the sensation. As you exhale, imagine it softening. You are not trying to eliminate the feeling; you are trying to be with it. Silently say to that part of yourself: "I'm here with you. I feel you. You are allowed to be here. You are safe now." This is an act of self-reparenting—giving that younger, alarmed part of you the comfort it likely never received.
Step 3: Take Mindful Action
Anxiety and worry thrive in stillness and internal focus. To break the spell of the brain's anxious autopilot (the DMN), you need to activate your brain's task-oriented "Central Executive Network." The easiest way to do this is to take action in the external world.
- Get up and walk around the room, focusing on the feeling of your feet on the floor.
- Wash the dishes, focusing only on the temperature of the water and the feel of the soap.
- Go for a run, play a sport, or do any form of physical activity.
Action pulls your focus outward, interrupting the internal feedback loop and reminding your brain that you are capable and not paralyzed by the feeling.
Crucial Insights for Your Healing Journey
- A Note on Overwhelm: If connecting with the alarm feels too intense, do not force it. The goal is to build safety, not to re-traumatize yourself. If it's too much, pull back and use grounding techniques: name five blue things in the room, press your feet firmly into the floor, or hold a piece of ice.
- Uncertainty is a Major Trigger: If you grew up in an unstable environment, your brain may despise uncertainty. Worry becomes a way to try to control an uncontrollable future. Learning to slowly increase your tolerance for uncertainty is a key part of healing.
- Talk Therapy Isn't Always Enough: While therapy like CBT is valuable for gaining insight (a "top-down" approach), it can't always heal the non-verbal alarm stored in your body. If you feel stuck in therapy, it doesn't mean you're broken. You may need to add a "bottom-up," body-based (somatic) practice to your routine.
- Men and Women Often Express Anxiety Differently: Whether due to social conditioning or evolved differences; women may be more likely to experience anxiety as rumination and hypervigilance, while men are often more likely to experience it as irritability, as this is a more accepted way for them to discharge the uncomfortable energy compared to anger.
- Embrace Tears and Play: Crying is an adaptive release mechanism that literally changes your body's chemistry and perception of pain. Play is a fantastic way to reprocess trauma because it activates the nervous system in a safe and controlled context.
- Consistency Over Intensity: The best time to practice these techniques is when you feel relatively calm. Building the mind-body connection is like building a muscle. Practice daily for just a few minutes, so the skill is strong and available when a crisis hits.
Chapters
00:05:41 Where Fear of Uncertainty Comes From
00:10:45 How Uncertainty Anxiety Can Manifest Itself
00:14:43 The Default Mode Network
00:17:00 How Worry Affects Anxiety
00:19:19 Why Does Rumination Feel Good?
00:24:15 Can Anxiety Be Mislabeled?
00:26:08 A Meditation to Locate & Reduce Anxiety
00:32:48 The Goggins Cortex
00:33:43 How to Deal with Unwanted Anxiousness
00:37:01 We are Addicted to Uncertainty
00:39:56 Talk Therapy & ACT Therapy
00:47:33 How Effective is Medication?
00:50:07 Can We Undo Chronic Anxiety?
00:53:57 Is it Necessary to Heal Our Past?
00:55:47 How Does Anxiety Show Up Differently for Men & Women?
00:58:50 Is Feeling Deeply a Blessing or a Curse?
01:01:47 When the Traditional Approach Doesn't Work
01:04:50 S.H.O.U.L.D.
01:06:13 Dr. Russell's Courses & Information Materials