What feelings are hard for you to communicate? How can I make it easier?
What is a compromise you've had to make since meeting me?
What was the most recent experience that made you feel closer to me?
What makes you feel most loved in our relationship?
If I disappeared tomorrow, what would you regret not telling me?
How do you think we can best resolve conflicts when they arise?
Are there past experiences that still affect how you view our relationship now?
What are you looking forward to most in our future together?
How can I listen and understand you better without becoming defensive?
Is there something about me that you hope I can change or improve for our relationship’s sake?
Is there something from your past that you’d like to talk about more with me?
What makes you feel the most secure in our relationship?
When do you feel most understood by me?
What’s a “you” habit you think I’ll eventually pick up?
What do you miss most about me when we’re not together?
What do you think sets this relationship apart from your past relationships?
Which of your friends do you think has the best dynamic with their partner? What do you admire most?
What’s the biggest lesson you’ve learned from being with me?
What do you think is the biggest cause of disconnection in our relationship?
What’s one activity that we do separately that you would rather do together?
What’s something you’ve never told me because you didn’t want to change how I see you?
In what ways might I have frustrated or saddened you lately?
When do you find me the sexiest?
When do you feel most connected to me?
What is something that makes you feel instantly anxious?
What’s something you wish I noticed more about you?
How do you feel about the balance of giving and receiving in our relationship?
How do you feel about the way we handle stress and challenges together?
How do you feel about the way we interact with each other’s families?
How do you feel about the time we spend with our friends?
What do you think I’m afraid of?
What are the sacrifices you’re most scared of that we may need to make for our future?
Is there a name I call you that you love most?
If we swapped bodies for a day, what would you love to do as me?
What are your three favourite things that you think we have in common?
What is an emotion you struggle to show me?
What mistakes have you made in past relationships that you want to avoid repeating here?
What’s something you’re proud of that you don’t talk about much?
If we could relive one day together, which day is it?
When we get out of alignment with each other, what can we do to get back quickly?
What’s a tiny luxury you wish you had more often?
How can we create more lasting memories together?
What about your past do you wish I understood better?
What’s a weirdly specific smell, sound, or action related to me that makes you feel instantly safe?
What’s a compliment you love receiving that people rarely give you?
If we could add one new “rule” to our relationship that would make life better, what would it be?
Is there something you secretly like that you’ve been too embarrassed to tell me?
What’s a recent win that meant more to you than it probably looked like?
How will I know if you get triggered by something, and what’s the best way for me to respond?
If you had to choose one fantasy for us to roleplay in the bedroom, what would it be?
And a final insight to ponder on from Mark Manson:
“You want to know what the biggest green flag is in a person? It's what they do when you disappoint them.
Anybody can be really into you when things are going well. In fact, it's really easy to be into somebody when things are going well.
But you actually find out what the relationship is when things don't go well. When life just hits you in the face like a truck.
Emotional maturity is what you're left with when things screw up.
How does your partner behave when you disappoint them? Do they attack you? Do they hold it against you? Do they withdraw?
Or do they try to understand you? Do you try to understand them? Are you communicative? Are they forgiving?
The quality of your relationship is not how good it is when everything is going well, it's how quickly it recovers when things go wrong.”