26 September 2023
00:29 - How do you argue with your wife effectively?
00:44 - Rule #1: You Are Talking To The Person You Love
02:56 - Rule #2: Emotions Don't Trump Reality
06:44 - Rule #3: The Secret Sauce To Winning
00:31 - The Three Stages Of Growing Up
00:38 - Their First Lesson
01:18 - What Just Happened To My Little Boy?
02:36 - When Things Began To Change
02:59 - Necessary Challenges
03:45 - Sacrificing For That Which Is Noble
04:47 - The Lesson Taught By Example
05:14 - Before You Know It...
05:40 - The Final Stages Of Preparation
05:50 - It's His Alone To Earn
06:25 - The Hardest Part Of Being A Father
07:20 - One Of My Earliest Memories
08:35 - Legacy
09:05 - When I Get Tired
20 September 2023
17 September 2023
14 September 2023
Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist at Oxford University, a researcher into the role of fatherhood across time and an author.
The modern world has made dads surplus to requirements in many ways. The deadbeat dad is such a meme in sitcoms and cartoons now that it’s no surprise men don’t feel they have a role in child rearing. But just how important are fathers to the development of boys and girls? And what don’t we know about their impact?
Expect to learn how fathers saved the human race when babies heads got too big, whether it’s normal for dads to not feel love for their baby when it’s born, the most important ways dads can bond with their kids, whether dads are more important to girls’ or boys’ development, what pushback Anna got for writing a pro-father book and much more…
Male Inquality - Big Think with Richard Reeves
Boys and men are falling behind. This might seem surprising to some people, and maybe ridiculous to others, considering that discussions on gender disparities tend to focus on the structural challenges faced by girls and women, not boys and men.
But long-term data reveal a clear and alarming trend: In recent decades, American men have been faring increasingly worse in many areas of life, including education, workforce participation, skill acquisition, wages, and fatherhood.
Gender politics is often framed as a zero-sum game: Any effort to help men takes away from women. But in his 2022 book Of Boys and Men, journalist and Brookings Institution scholar Richard V. Reeves argues that the structural problems contributing to male malaise affect everybody, and that shying away from these tough conversations is not a productive path forward.
7:26 *Class matters
7:53 Men in the workforce
10:54 Men in the family
13:00 Deaths of despair
Is marriage dying? - Big Think with Richard Reeves
Marriage in the U.S. has fundamentally transformed over the past century. In general, women have far greater legal and economic power in marriages than they did just decades ago, and while it was once difficult for women to file for divorce, today women do so at twice the rate of men. What’s more, gay marriage has been legal in all 50 states since 2015.
Still, other aspects of marriage in the U.S. have remained remarkably unchanged. As journalist and Brookings Institution scholar Richard Reeves points out, a college-educated woman today is about just as likely to get married as her mother was — and even a bit more likely to stay married.
But the same is not true for Americans on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale. As Reeves notes in this Big Think video, it’s important for all humans to have strong and meaningful relationships, whether within the context of marriage or not. The question is how to best ensure that the most people can build those relationships.
12 September 2023
Forget "I'll be happy when...". If you can't be happy when pursuing a goal you won't be happy when you achieved it.
Expectations cause a lot of unhappiness. Often we suffer because we believe a thought that argues with reality. Reality has no concept of that something "should" have happened or someone "should" have behaved a particular way. This is simply our own personal belief, that is creating a happiness gap between reality and our imagined reality.
You don't know your future. If you are pained by external things, it is not that they disturb you, but your judgement of them that disturbs you, and it is in your power to wipe out that judgement.
The story of the Chinese farmer:
Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”. The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”. The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbours then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”. The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbours came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”.
Harvard negotiator explains how to argue - Big Think with Dan Shapiro
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11 August 2023
A very good guide to to being a good people manager in the workplace. I think this is also useful for students about to start in the workplace, it gives them an idea of what organisations and managers in those organisations are optimising for.
Another useful piece for students about to start in the workplace:
TED Talks: The official TED guide to public speaking: Tips and tricks for giving unforgettable speeches and presentations - Chris Anderson
One of the best guides to teach you how to develop and deliver the best presentations and talks:
04 August 2023
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30 July 2023
... and also The Science of Our Inner Voice - Dr Maya Shankar A Slight Change of Plans with Prof Ethan Kross:
29 July 2023
25 July 2023
and also on the same subject... Talking To A Feminist About Masculinity - Modern Wisdom with Christine Emba
23 July 2023
11 July 2023
An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.
The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”
The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life.”
The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”
The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”
To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”
“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.
The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part. When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”
“Millions – then what?”
The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”
08 July 2023
29 June 2023
A great approach to stop ruminating. Write out a structured note on the issue and all your thoughts about it.
... and a lot more detail on The Science of Our Inner Voice - Dr Maya Shankar A Slight Change of Plans with Prof Ethan Kross:
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Dr Peter Attia has his own podcast that goes into a lot of detail on the subjects of preventing cardiovascular disease, cancer and dementia through exercise, diet and sleep. Here is a podcast where he discusses them on another presenter's podcast and thus you get a good high level summary
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The happiest and healthiest people are those who have warm connections with others, says psychiatrist Robert Waldinger, who leads the Harvard Study of Adult Development -- one of the longest-running studies of adult life ever conducted. Exploring the crucial link between social bonds and quality of life, he shares wisdom and insights into how to identify and strengthen the relationships that impact your well-being most.
The point on the importance of good relationships echoes the points in Lost Connections: Uncovering the Real Causes of Depression – and the Unexpected Solutions by Johann Hari.
... and as a full interview with Robert Waldinger, on the The Diary of a CEO, where he talks through the study ...