Three Levels of Compliments for Better Connection
Most people rely on basic compliments, but there are actually three distinct levels of compliments that can significantly deepen connections.
Level 1: Social Flow Compliments
These are simple ways to bring a friendly and positive vibe to an interaction, but they can be improved by adding three specific elements.
- Be Specific: Instead of general praise, compliment something specific to make the interaction more engaging.
- Focus on Effort: Highlight something the person has put significant effort into, rather than traits that come naturally to them.
- Maintain Eye Contact: Delivering a compliment with eye contact makes it meaningful, whereas a lack of eye contact can make it feel like a basic social nicety.
- Avoid Pressure: Do not use eye contact to insist the other person receives the compliment in a particular way, as this can make the interaction uncomfortable.
Level 2: MC Compliments
This powerful level involves delivering compliments about a person to an audience, rather than directly to the individual.
- Public Praise: Use these in groups of three or more to illuminate a person's talents publicly, making them feel seen and appreciated.
- Credit Others: Repeating insights or quotes learned from others and giving them credit builds a tremendous level of affection and trust.
- Third-Party Validation: Mentioning someone in a positive light to a friend or audience creates a strong impact when they eventually hear about it.
Level 3: Heartfelt Compliments
These are the deepest compliments reserved for people and moments that have had a genuine, powerful impact on you.
- State the Impact: Start by letting the person know specifically how they have affected you or your life.
- Identify the Quality: Tell the person exactly what you see in them that caused that powerful impact.
- Express Gratitude: Close the compliment with a simple statement of gratitude and love.
The Essential Mindset
The most effective compliments must come from a place of deep gratitude rather than a desire to get something from the other person. When you compliment to acknowledge what you have already received, rather than to be liked, your energy shifts and your life fills with appreciation.