https://www.ft.com/content/0a7977ac-4cf5-11e7-919a-1e14ce4af89b
Embrace "No" as a Positive and Trendy Choice
The central learning point is that saying "no" has become a hallmark of successful people and a key to personal happiness. The cultural trend has shifted from a "say yes to everything" mindset to one that values the power of refusal. This is not just a selfish act but a strategic one that improves well-being and efficiency. Parwy: I have also read that the younger you are the more you should say "yes" and as the older you get the more you should start saying "no".
Celebrate Your Refusals
You shouldn't just say no; you should celebrate it. This reframes refusal from a negative act of disappointing someone into a positive act of self-care and prioritization. Celebrating your "no's" reinforces the habit and highlights the benefits you gain from it.
- Action Point: Start your day by mentally reviewing and giving thanks for the things you have successfully refused to do. This practice can improve your mood and increase your enthusiasm for the tasks you have willingly accepted.
The Altruistic and Efficiency Benefits of Saying "No"
Saying no is not just about personal gain. It can be an altruistic act that creates opportunities for junior colleagues to step up and gain experience. On a larger scale, if enough people refuse to participate in pointless meetings and events, it would force organizations to allocate resources more efficiently and stop arranging them.
A Simple Framework for When to Say "Yes"
While "no" is powerful, "yes" is still sometimes necessary. The article provides a simple three-part test for deciding when to agree to a request. Say yes only to things that you:
- Absolutely have to do.
- Genuinely want to do.
- Feel you ought to do (though this category can sometimes be negotiated).
- Action Point: When faced with a request that doesn't fit into these categories, your default answer should be "no." As the article states, "if in doubt, say no."
How to Deliver an Effective "No"
Saying no is a skill that can be mastered. The effectiveness of your refusal often depends on the delivery.
- Act Quickly: Procrastinating on a "no" makes you vulnerable to being persuaded into saying "yes."
- Don't Give Reasons: Providing explanations invites debate and can lead to you capitulating. A simple, direct "no" is often the most effective approach.
- Avoid the "Too Busy" Excuse: Claiming to be too busy is not a sign of importance; it's a sign that you are not good at managing your commitments by saying "no."