I used to think being attractive was all about confidence, teasing, and strong body language, but I was missing something deeper. In this video, I break down the 3 traits of grounded masculinity that most men overlook. These traits make women feel emotionally safe, connected, and irresistibly drawn in.
0:00 – Why Typical Attraction Advice Falls Short 2:39 – Containment: The Balance Between Holding Space and Setting Limits 4:18 – Empathetic Attunement: Feeling Without Getting Lost 7:08 – Grounding Someone in the Now (Not the Logic)
Everyone wonders how to reach the top 1%; most people think it's all about discipline and hard work. In this video, I'm sharing the deeper success habits I've learned from Joe Hudson that go beyond typical productivity advice. These principles have transformed my life this past year, and I hope they help you too..
00:00:00 - Introduction 00:01:32 - Prioritise Pace over Perfection (The Iterative Mindset) 00:05:35 - Change Your Relationship with Emotional States (Embracing Negative Emotions) 00:31:27 - Use Enjoyment as a Compass (Enjoyment Equals Efficiency) 00:43:10 - Eliminate the "Shoulds" (The Anti-Discipline Method) 01:02:52 - Escape Time Poverty
1. Prioritise Pace over Perfection (The Iterative Mindset)
Instead of getting bogged down in meticulous planning and waiting for everything to be perfect, highly successful individuals focus on taking action with minimal preparation (around 20%) and then iterating based on feedback. The pace of movement is considered more important than getting it absolutely right initially because it accelerates learning and allows for necessary adjustments. A common barrier to action is the fear of making public mistakes. This habit aligns with an "Ready Fire Aim" approach.
2. Change Your Relationship with Emotional States (Embracing Negative Emotions)
The fear of failure often stems not from the consequences themselves, but from the negative internal emotions (like embarrassment or misery) that failure might trigger. The brain's habenula naturally dampens motivation after negative experiences as a survival mechanism. The key is not to avoid failure, but to fundamentally alter one's relationship with these internal feelings by embracing them rather than resisting. Resistance can make emotions feel worse, whereas approaching them with curiosity can help in understanding and processing them, making them less intimidating. Emotions are viewed as underlying drivers of decisions; by feeling through potential negative emotional outcomes, decisions often become clearer.
3. Use Enjoyment as a Compass (Enjoyment Equals Efficiency)
Top performers seek efficiency, meaning they use less energy to achieve their goals, which supports sustainable progress. Joe Hudson's first law posits that enjoyment equals efficiency. When you enjoy your work process, you expend less energy, have more energy afterwards, are more likely to repeat the activity, and often perform it better. Enjoyment comes from *how* you do something, not solely *what* you do. Tracking enjoyment can serve as a diagnostic tool to identify inefficiencies. Asking "What would this look like if it were fun?" can reveal ways to inject enjoyment into tasks.
4. Eliminate the "Shoulds" (The Anti-Discipline Method)
Reliance on willpower, obligation, guilt, or the internal voice saying "I should do this" creates significant internal friction and inefficiency ("dirty fuel"). This often backfires due to a natural resistance to being compelled, even by oneself. Highly successful people are frequently driven by alignment and genuine desire ("want") rather than mere discipline or obligation. Recognising that you are *choosing* to do something (often to avoid consequences) reasserts autonomy. The word "should" tends to drain energy, whereas focusing on what you "want" provides it. Often, beneath a "should" lies an underlying "want" or impulse that can be reframed to find a more enjoyable path. Duty and obligation, when acted upon solely without love or genuine desire, can lead to a lack of joy and authentic connection. Feeling guilty about not being productive is often a learned behaviour.
5. Escape Time Poverty
Many people feel constantly rushed and reactive to urgent demands, living in a state of "time poverty." The top 0.1% cultivate a relationship with time where it acts as an ally. They focus on long-term thinking and making investments that will yield significant future results or make numerous other tasks easier or obsolete, rather than chasing the immediate satisfaction of checking off small items. Rushing due to feeling time-poor can decrease effectiveness and lead to missed opportunities. They understand that "slow is steady, steady is fast" and that productivity isn't just about getting things done quickly but about making meaningful progress over time.
My guest is James Sexton, Esq., a renowned attorney specializing in contracts related to love and money—prenuptial agreements, divorce and custody. We explore the counterintuitive fact that people with prenuptial agreements tend to stay married longer and report more satisfying relationships than those who don’t. We discuss how legal contracts can foster deeper understanding by encouraging vulnerability and honest communication about each partner’s values and expectations.
We also examine what defines true, lasting love versus generic romantic ideals—and how social media can distort our understanding of what we truly need. Additionally, we review how cultural traditions, gender dynamics, courtship length, and age at the time of marriage shape marital outcomes.
This episode offers practical tools for anyone—single or partnered—to build more successful and stable relationships through deeply honest dialogue and contracts that reflect genuine values around love and money.
00:02:19 Sponsors: Wealthfront & BetterHelp 00:14:41 Contracts, Business, Marriage Celebration, Prenups 00:26:24 Nesting; Prenups, Creating Rulesets 00:33:56 Prenups & Strengthening Marriage 00:38:19 Marriage Traditions; Divorce Rates, Religion 00:44:44 First vs Second Marriages, Love & Impermanence 00:50:09 Sponsors: AG1 & Our Place 00:53:53 Contracts, Relationships & Hard Conversations 01:02:37 Marriage & Underlying Problems, Love, Successful Marriages 01:16:27 Ideals, Social Media & Advertising, Simplicity, Dogs 01:27:33 Sponsor: Function 01:29:26 Intimacy, Tool: Early Framework for Hard Discussions 01:37:06 Prenup Consultation, Legal Defaults, Reasons for Marriage 01:47:37 Alimony, Prenups & Creating Rulesets, Yours, Mine & Ours, Adultery, Pets 02:02:30 Fond Memories & Ending Relationship, Pain, Divorce 02:12:49 Social Media, Movies & Ideals, Pornography vs Real Sexual Relationships 02:22:43 Revealing Flaws, Bravery, Prenups & Expectations, Money 02:37:49 Bravery, Vulnerability, Relationship Changes, Men vs Women, Marriage 02:47:11 Relationship Sacrifices, Men & Women; Prenups, Government 02:54:45 Life Milestones, Early vs Late Marriage, Navigating Challenges 03:01:38 Courtship Period & Marital Outcomes 03:10:12 Knowing Self & Partner, Vulnerability 03:16:58 "Postnup", Rekindling or Ending Relationships, Tool: Leave a Note 03:26:41 Heartbreak & Love, Divorce; Acknowledgements 03:34:45 Zero-Cost Support, YouTube, Spotify & Apple Follow & Reviews, Sponsors, YouTube Feedback, Protocols Book, Social Media, Neural Network Newsletter