Louise Perry, a UK-based journalist, author, and columnist, discusses her book "The Case Against the Sexual Revolution" in this YouTube video, joined by Jordan B. Peterson. The conversation critically examines the long-term impacts of the sexual revolution, particularly on young people, challenging many contemporary assumptions about sexual freedom and gender dynamics.
1. The Paradoxical Outcomes of the Sexual Revolution
- Decline in Meaningful Relationships: Despite the "astounding availability of sexual stimuli" online, young men and women are increasingly abandoning relationships, leading to less sexual activity in general. People are having more casual sex but less frequent sex, failing to form long-standing relationships.
- Demotivation for Real-Life Interaction: Immediate gratification from online pornography and sexual stimuli demotivates individuals from seeking out meaningful sexual relationships, which are "vastly better for us in every possible way" in the long term.
- "Cultural Death Grip Syndrome": This term describes a phenomenon where hypersexual public life (e.g., explicit content everywhere) coexists with a "sex recession" – people having sex later and less frequently. Over-exposure to pornography can lead to a literal "physical experience of impotence" or psychological inability to be aroused in real life, making meaningful connections difficult.
- Short-Term Hedonism vs. Long-Term Well-being: The culture, enabled by technology, is very short-term oriented, channelling people towards immediate relief. However, pursuing "hedonistic urges" without principles leads to "long-term psychological and social error" and is ultimately "pathological".
2. Critiquing Modern Sexual Assumptions
- Challenging Core Beliefs: Perry's book chapters, such as "Sex must be taken seriously," "Men and women are different," "Some desires are bad," "Loveless sex is not empowering," and "Consent is not enough," directly challenge "juvenile delusions of our present culture".
- Marilyn Monroe and Hugh Hefner as Icons:
- Marilyn Monroe: Embodied the "sex kitten" archetype but lived a "miserable life," marked by child sexual abuse, domestic violence, substance abuse, and suicide. Her famous photos for Playboy were published without her consent. She represents the tragic exploitation often experienced by female sex icons.
- Hugh Hefner: While he lived longer, he "lost the glamor" and became "pretty damn pathetic" in his later years, illustrating that even for the most "successful Playboy," a solely hedonistic life has a "shelf life" and turns into a "parody".
- Mating Strategies and Exploitation:
- Short-term mating (casual sex) is associated with anti-social personality traits and the "dark tetrad" (Machiavellianism, narcissism, psychopathy, sadism), which involves a "predatory or parasitical lifestyle" and exploitation.
- Sexual Asymmetry: Females "inevitably the sex that pours more resources into reproduction," leading to a higher cost for sexual reproduction. Therefore, exploitation in sexual relationships is "most often" the male, "who has less at stake, exploiting the female who has far more at stake".
- Short-term mating strategies are "not a good iterating game" for a whole life course for either women or men.
3. The "Maiden, Mother, Matriarch" Progression
- Interrupted Female Development: Perry hypothesises that the normal female life progression from Maiden to Mother to Matriarch has been "interrupted," leading to a "widespread problem of women desperate to remain in Maiden mode permanently". Madonna is cited as an example.
- Cultural Devaluation of Later Stages: Modern culture disproportionately loads "all of the status onto the maiden roll," especially a non-virginal, sexually attractive one, while failing to attach commensurate status to mothers and matriarchs. This is partly driven by consumer culture's focus on teenagers with disposable income.
- Integration as an Ideal: The aspiration should be a "full integration" of these stages, like Russian dolls, where a successful matriarch integrates the roles of mother and maiden, rather than being limited to just one.
4. Men and Women Are Different
- Fundamental Differences: Perry argues that any productive feminism must start from the premise that "men and women are fundamentally different," acknowledging "sexual asymmetry" and "psychological average differences".
- False Promise of the Pill: The birth control pill and modern work promised to "erase the differences between the Sexes," but these differences (biological, psychological) remain, as humans still reproduce the "old-fashioned way" and retain "Stone Age" brains.
- Misery from "Living Like a Man": Many women offered the promise of living and having sex "just like a man" have found it "profoundly miserable".
5. The Problem with "Consent Is Not Enough"
- Paradoxical Demand for Bureaucracy: The insistence that "every form of sexual desire and behavior is to be valued" coexists with a "radical counter claim" that "every form of sexual interaction...is so dangerous" it requires "full consent" that is "documented verbally" and "formally".
- "Bureaucratic Attitude to Sex": The idea of signing contracts for casual sex is presented as a "reinvention of marriage" due to the unsustainability of "complete sexual freedom". Traditional societies used "complicated tapestry of laws and Norms" (e.g., marriage customs, chaperones) to "control sexuality" because "untrammeled sexual freedom is not possible".
- Alcohol and Consent: Alcohol "facilitates almost all criminal behavior that involves coercion". It's a "highly disinhibiting drug" that interferes with memory and judgment. Men also have a cognitive bias, exaggerated by alcohol, to "overestimate a woman's sexual interest". This makes "drunken consent" a "complicated question".
- Consent as a Minimum, Not an Ethic: The consent model, while reconceptualising rape as a crime against the woman (a "profound success" of 20th-century feminism), is often insufficient. Women often experience distressing sexual encounters that don't meet legal thresholds for crime but lack the "moral language" (like chivalry or good/bad) to describe what went wrong, defaulting to "non-consensual".
- Marriage as "Full Informed Consent": Peterson suggests that "marriage is consent," representing the "only form of full informed consent" given the inherent dangers and social destabilization of sex.
6. The Power of "No"
- Signal of Status and Commitment: A woman's "ability to say no" voluntarily signals her status and is a "potent art tool" in dating and relationships. This is particularly attractive to men seeking long-term relationships, as it indicates a woman's capacity for controlling impulsive desires and committing to a partnership.
- "Extended Foreplay" in Female Pornography: Female pornographic tropes often involve a woman initially saying "no" to a high-status man, leading to an "extended foreplay" dance before a spectacular consummation, mirroring the "optimal female reproductive pathway".
- The Pill's Impact: The pill "disrupts it all" by massively reducing the physical risks of sex, making it much harder for women to say "no." Without the justification of potential pregnancy, a "no" becomes a "painful" personal rejection, which women, being generally less assertive, find difficult to deliver.
- Unsophisticated vs. Sophisticated "No": Unsophisticated women struggle to signal "no" effectively, especially early on, which can lead to coercive situations. Sophisticated women, often those with good relationships with men, signal their "no" "in no uncertain terms very early".
- Attractiveness of "No": Men are "turned off" if a woman offers immediate sexual access without anything else. The most attractive thing to a man is a "sophisticated woman who knows how to say no," as it confers status and indicates strength of character (not prudishness).
7. Feminism and Christian Morality
- Feminism as an Outgrowth of Christianity: Perry posits that feminism is an "outgrowth of Christianity," specifically the idea that "weakness is strength" and that the vulnerable (including women without male kin) are inherently valuable and worthy of protection.
- Socializing Protection: This Christian idea led to the concept of "sexual equality at the spiritual level" and the duty of protection being "shared among the community and among women". Modern law, in abstract, attempts to replicate the protection a well-constituted family would provide for a woman.
8. Rediscovering "Eternal Truths" and the Way Forward
- "Listen to Your Mother": Perry's book's epilogue advises young people to "listen to your mother" and other women who have lived life, as they likely have your best interests at heart and embody "eternal truths about men and women" that have been obscured by "very strange ideas about sexual politics".
- Need for Conversation for Older Women: There is a "dearth of conversation" about what a "rich and fulfilling" life looks like for women in the "mother" and "matriarch" stages, balancing career, family, and relationships.
- A "Sexual Counter-Revolution": Perry believes there is a "guarded yes" to a sexual counter-revolution. She observes that "very beautiful" and high-status women are figuring out that the current system "causes them harm" and are opting out of casual sex and social pressure. Her hope is that others will imitate them, as "trends always start in the aristocracy and trend downwards".