26 September 2023

8 Clear Signs Someone Is Gaslighting You - Charisma on Command

0:26 - #1: They attack your sanity
0:53 - #2: They rewrite the past
2:09 - #3: They minimize bad behavior
3:01 - #4: They normalize bad behavior
3:40 - #5: They use empathy hijacking
4:35 - #6: They regularly deflect blame onto you
5:59 - #7: They project their negative qualities onto you
6:53 - #8: They make your emotional reaction the problem

Arguing with your wife and raising sons - Nick Freitas

00:00 - The Worst Advice Young Husbands Are Given 
00:29 - How do you argue with your wife effectively? 
00:44 - Rule #1: You Are Talking To The Person You Love
02:56 - Rule #2: Emotions Don't Trump Reality 
06:44 - Rule #3: The Secret Sauce To Winning 

00:00 - Intro 
00:31 - The Three Stages Of Growing Up 
00:38 - Their First Lesson 
01:18 - What Just Happened To My Little Boy? 
02:36 - When Things Began To Change 
02:59 - Necessary Challenges 
03:45 - Sacrificing For That Which Is Noble 
04:47 - The Lesson Taught By Example 
05:14 - Before You Know It... 
05:40 - The Final Stages Of Preparation 
05:50 - It's His Alone To Earn 
06:25 - The Hardest Part Of Being A Father 
07:20 - One Of My Earliest Memories 
08:35 - Legacy 
09:05 - When I Get Tired

20 September 2023

What Everyone Needs To Know About Cancer - Dr Rangan Chatterjee with Prof Thomas Seyfried

How lower carbs can lead to better cancer related outcomes.

17 September 2023

Don’t chase happiness. Become antifragile - Big Think with Tal Ben-Shahar

Antifragility is the idea of putting pressure on a system, or human, the system or human actually grows bigger and stronger. 

Antifragile systems are all around us. One example of this is our muscular system. We go to the gym to lift weights. By doing so we are putting pressure on our system to help it grow stronger. The human body is an antifragile system. 

From a psychological perspective, antifragility comes in the form of PTG, or post-traumatic growth. After we experience a stressful event, we learn and grow to become more resilient. 

14 September 2023

Do You Actually Need A Father To Raise A Child? - Modern Wisdom with Dr Anna Machin

Dr Anna Machin is an evolutionary anthropologist at Oxford University, a researcher into the role of fatherhood across time and an author.

The modern world has made dads surplus to requirements in many ways. The deadbeat dad is such a meme in sitcoms and cartoons now that it’s no surprise men don’t feel they have a role in child rearing. But just how important are fathers to the development of boys and girls? And what don’t we know about their impact?

Expect to learn how fathers saved the human race when babies heads got too big, whether it’s normal for dads to not feel love for their baby when it’s born, the most important ways dads can bond with their kids, whether dads are more important to girls’ or boys’ development, what pushback Anna got for writing a pro-father book and much more…

Male Inquality - Big Think with Richard Reeves

Boys and men are falling behind. This might seem surprising to some people, and maybe ridiculous to others, considering that discussions on gender disparities tend to focus on the structural challenges faced by girls and women, not boys and men.

But long-term data reveal a clear and alarming trend: In recent decades, American men have been faring increasingly worse in many areas of life, including education, workforce participation, skill acquisition, wages, and fatherhood.

Gender politics is often framed as a zero-sum game: Any effort to help men takes away from women. But in his 2022 book Of Boys and Men, journalist and Brookings Institution scholar Richard V. Reeves argues that the structural problems contributing to male malaise affect everybody, and that shying away from these tough conversations is not a productive path forward.

01:35 Men in education
07:26 Class matters
07:53 Men in the workforce
10:54 Men in the family
13:00 Deaths of despair

Is marriage dying? - Big Think with Richard Reeves

Marriage in the U.S. has fundamentally transformed over the past century. In general, women have far greater legal and economic power in marriages than they did just decades ago, and while it was once difficult for women to file for divorce, today women do so at twice the rate of men. What’s more, gay marriage has been legal in all 50 states since 2015.

Still, other aspects of marriage in the U.S. have remained remarkably unchanged. As journalist and Brookings Institution scholar Richard Reeves points out, a college-educated woman today is about just as likely to get married as her mother was — and even a bit more likely to stay married.

But the same is not true for Americans on the lower end of the socioeconomic scale. As Reeves notes in this Big Think video, it’s important for all humans to have strong and meaningful relationships, whether within the context of marriage or not. The question is how to best ensure that the most people can build those relationships.

What the sexual revolution has done to modern families - Big Think with Richard Reeves, Judith Butler and more

How has the sexual revolution reshaped our understanding of relationships and family? After the sexual liberation movement of the 1960s and 1970s began upending traditional norms, Americans started seeing greater personal freedoms and a more flexible understanding of relationships, sexuality, and family roles. 

One lasting impact is that marriage is now based primarily on choice rather than societal expectations, and men are no longer always expected to be the head of the household. 

But despite the clear benefits of increased egalitarianism and personal liberty, the sexual revolution arguably came with trade-offs. As journalist Louise Perry notes, one example is that far more children are being raised in broken homes today than they were decades ago, even though nearly every conceivable metric shows that it’s better for children to have married parents.

12 September 2023

How To Quickly Get Out Of A Mental Rut - Charisma on Command

Forget "I'll be happy when...". If you can't be happy when pursuing a goal you won't be happy when you achieved it.

Expectations cause a lot of unhappiness. Often we suffer because we believe a thought that argues with reality. Reality has no concept of that something "should" have happened or someone "should" have behaved a particular way. This is simply our own personal belief, that is creating a happiness gap between reality and our imagined reality.

You don't know your future. If you are pained by external things, it is not that they disturb you, but your judgement of them that disturbs you, and it is in your power to wipe out that judgement.

The story of the Chinese farmer:

Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbours came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.”. The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.”. The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbours then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.”. The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbours came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”.

0:00 - Intro
0:16 - #1: Unmet desire
4:12 - #2: Isolated upward comparison
7:26 - #3: Expectations

How To Argue With Someone Who Won’t Listen - Charisma on Command

Harvard negotiator explains how to argue - Big Think with Dan Shapiro

05 September 2023

How To Persuade Anyone Using Psychology - Charisma on Command

00:00 - Intro
00:16 - #1: Social proof
02:38 - #2: Scarcity
04:41 - #3: Consistency
06:27 - #4: Reciprocity
08:11 - #5: Authority
09:53 - #6: Liking
10:15 - #7: Risk Mitigation
10:59 - Only persuade for genuine good.

03 September 2023

5 Essential Tips for Long-Lasting Productivity - Ali Abdaal

00:00 Intro
05:16 Shift your mindset
06:22 Turn things into a game
07:42 Bring others on board
09:39 Set the appropriate stage
11:37 Decide if you're working on the right things