https://lifehacker.com/how-to-argue-better-with-your-partner-1831076056
Acknowledge That Your Memory Is Flawed
A core learning point is that our memories are frequently unreliable, especially when we are upset. Arguing over who is "correct" about a past event is often a pointless exercise because both partners are likely remembering it incorrectly in some way.
- Action Point: For minor disagreements about past events, it's more productive to end the fight and make up rather than getting stuck trying to prove who is right. Let go of the need to have the "correct" version of the past.
Recognize That You Are Not Objective When Arguing
When you're in a fight, your brain is not operating at its best. It's "under-resourced," meaning there's literally less blood flow to the parts of the brain that handle error correction and rational thought. This makes you more likely to misinterpret your partner's intentions, actions, and non-verbal cues.
- Action Point: Instead of arguing further about a perceived slight, focus on calming the situation down with love and understanding. Address the specific misinterpretation later, after you've both had a chance to cool off.