29 December 2018

How to Argue Better With Your Partner

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-argue-better-with-your-partner-1831076056

Acknowledge That Your Memory Is Flawed

A core learning point is that our memories are frequently unreliable, especially when we are upset. Arguing over who is "correct" about a past event is often a pointless exercise because both partners are likely remembering it incorrectly in some way.

  • Action Point: For minor disagreements about past events, it's more productive to end the fight and make up rather than getting stuck trying to prove who is right. Let go of the need to have the "correct" version of the past.

Recognize That You Are Not Objective When Arguing

When you're in a fight, your brain is not operating at its best. It's "under-resourced," meaning there's literally less blood flow to the parts of the brain that handle error correction and rational thought. This makes you more likely to misinterpret your partner's intentions, actions, and non-verbal cues.

  • Action Point: Instead of arguing further about a perceived slight, focus on calming the situation down with love and understanding. Address the specific misinterpretation later, after you've both had a chance to cool off.

10 January 2018

How to Turn Unproductive Worries Into Productive Ones

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-turn-unproductive-worries-into-productive-ones-1821405263

Differentiate Between Productive and Unproductive Worries

The central learning point is to distinguish between two types of worry. Unproductive worries are the vague "what if" scenarios that are often outside of your control, such as the threat of nuclear war or a house fire. Productive worries, on the other hand, are concerns that can be translated into a concrete action plan today. The goal is to convert unproductive anxieties into productive actions.

Turn Worries Into Action Plans

The primary action is to analyze your worry and identify any aspect of it that you can control or change. Once you've identified a controllable element, you can create a to-do list to address it. This shifts your focus from a state of passive anxiety to one of active problem-solving.

  • Action Point: When you start worrying about something, ask yourself: "Is there anything I can do today to reduce the likelihood of this worry coming true?" For example, if you worry about a house fire, your action plan could be to check your smoke alarm batteries and review escape routes with your family. If you worry about leaving the stove on, take a photo of the dials before you leave the house.

Have More Fun With Your Partner in the New Year

https://lifehacker.com/have-more-fun-with-your-partner-in-the-new-year-1821743176

Prioritize Playfulness and Novelty

A common theme in relationship advice is the importance of breaking out of ruts and introducing new, fun experiences. Over time, couples can fall into predictable routines, which can lead to boredom and a sense of disconnection. Actively seeking out new and playful activities can help to rekindle a sense of excitement and adventure.

  • Action Point: Make a "fun list" together. Brainstorm a list of new activities you'd both like to try, from simple things like trying a new restaurant or taking a dance class to more adventurous ideas like planning a weekend getaway to a place you've never been.