Overall Health Philosophy and the Impact of Lifestyle
The approach to health and longevity emphasises that 70% or more of how an individual ages is due to their lifestyle choices, not genetics. Lifestyle significantly impacts both lifespan (how long one lives) and healthspan (the period of life spent free from disease and feeling well). Poor lifestyle choices can lead to a 14-year difference in life expectancy and a 30 to 40-year reduction in healthspan, meaning a significant decline in quality of life starting as early as one's 40s or 50s. Prevention through early lifestyle interventions is considered superior to attempting to reverse advanced pathological states. Many interventions offer both short-term benefits for mood and energy, and long-term protection against disease.
The Foundational Role of Exercise
Sedentarism as a Disease: Being physically inactive is deemed a disease, increasing the risk of early mortality even more than conditions like type 2 diabetes, cardiovascular disease, or smoking. A study revealed that three weeks of bed rest negatively impacted cardiorespiratory fitness more than 30 years of aging.
Dr Andrew Huberman introduces oral health as the seventh pillar of mental health, physical health, and performance, adding to the existing six pillars: sleep, light exposure, nutrition, exercise, stress management, and relationships. This is highlighted as a non-trivial step, emphasizing the profound influence oral health has on general bodily health. Oral health extends beyond just teeth and breath to include the oral microbiome, palate, tonsils, and the entire oral cavity. It is inextricably linked to cardiovascular, metabolic, and brain health, playing a role in staving off diseases across these bodily compartments.
Understanding Oral Biology and Cavity Formation
Tooth Anatomy and Remineralisation: Teeth are layered structures with an outer translucent enamel layer and an inner Dentin layer. Cavities form as bacteria burrow through the enamel into the Dentin. A crucial insight is that teeth can repair cavities if they haven't penetrated too deep, through a process called remineralisation. The mouth is constantly in a state of either demineralisation or remineralisation, largely dependent on the pH (acidity) of the mouth and saliva production.
Saliva's Critical Role: Saliva is an "incredible substance" that helps rebuild tooth strength and supports the health of the oral cavity, gut microbiome, and body generally. Healthy saliva with the correct pH encourages remineralisation.
Gum Health: Gums (gingiva) are vital for stabilising teeth and form a critical barrier, a "seal," between the oral cavity and deeper bone layers and the bloodstream. When this barrier is compromised by bacteria, it can lead to periodontal disease, which is associated with serious issues like Alzheimer's disease, cardiac, and metabolic health problems. The oral cavity, despite being a "gaping hole" exposed to constant bacteria, heals with nearly zero scarring, showcasing its remarkable robustness when treated correctly.
Mechanism of Cavity Formation: Cavities are not caused directly by specific foods like sugar, but by bacteria, primarily Streptococcus mutans, that feed on sugars (including complex carbohydrates) and then produce acid. This acid degrades and demineralises the tooth enamel. Streptococcus mutans is a communicable bacteria, transmitted through sharing drinks or kissing, and is not something individuals are born with.
Time is Key: The duration for which the mouth remains acidic (in a demineralisation state) is the most critical factor in cavity formation.
Dr. Kennedy emphasises that events themselves are not inherently traumatising; instead, it is the story individuals tell themselves about the event that truly impacts them. Memories are formed by events combined with the stories and interpretations assigned to them, and these can be reshaped through new experiences, reflection, and even therapeutic processes. This perspective is fundamental to understanding how a child's internal narrative is shaped.
Parenting Priority: Safety Over Happiness
A parent's primary role is to keep their children safe, even if this means the children are upset with them. This principle takes precedence over the desire to keep a child happy. Parents are compared to pilots of an aeroplane who must make necessary course changes or emergency landings for safety, regardless of passenger discontent, as their fundamental job is to ensure well-being. This approach requires parents to act as a sturdy leader rather than a peer.
Dr Robert Glover is a therapist, coach and an author. Being nice is something many of us aspire to become. After all, who doesn’t want to be nice? Well Nice Guy Syndrome has been ruining the lives of many men for decades, so perhaps we should aspire to be something else. Expect to learn what is actually wrong with being a nice guy, why men become so afraid of putting their needs first, how to stop people pleasing without being a bad guy, why nice guys end up resentful and bitter, whether nice guys attract or repel women and much more…
The Essence of "Nice Guy" Syndrome
A "Nice Guy" is defined as someone who, at a very young age, inaccurately internalised the belief that they are not okay as they are.
This leads them to unconsciously attempt two main things: to become what they believe others want them to be, and to hide anything about themselves that might elicit a negative reaction, including their needs, wants, and sexuality.
The core problem is a lack of authenticity; "Nice Guys" are not truly themselves, leading to traits like dishonesty, untrustworthiness, frustration, resentment, and passive aggression. This ultimately prevents them from living up to their full potential and having what they desire in life.
Key Characteristics and Traits
A primary tendency is people-pleasing and seeking external validation, often specifically from women.
They frequently fail to live up to their full potential, partly due to a fear of standing out, as it brings too much attention and expectation.
Many "Nice Guys" experience a "dull depression", feeling they "should" be happy and getting what they want, but are not and don't understand why.
A fundamental trait is dishonesty; while they may believe they are honest, their actions often contradict this as they hide parts of themselves.
They are often overly pliable, changing themselves to achieve desired outcomes from people.
"Nice Guys" often suffer from resentment and even rage because their "covert contracts" (unspoken agreements) are not met, making them feel unappreciated for their efforts. As Neil Strauss noted, "unspoken expectations are premeditated resentment".
They are often described as the type of person who tries to make everyone happy, avoids doing anything wrong, and "goes along to get along," often embodying the "happy wife, happy life" mentality.
Unspoken expectations are premeditated resentments - Neil Strauss.
The Psychology of the "Trap"
The word "premeditated" is crucial. It implies that by holding an unspoken expectation, you are, consciously or not, setting a trap.
You write the script: You create a scenario in your mind where a person should act a certain way, say a specific thing, or understand a particular need.
You don't share the script: The other person is completely unaware of their assigned role and lines.
They inevitably "fail": Since they cannot read your mind, they will almost certainly fail to meet this secret expectation.
You feel justified in your resentment: When they fail, you get an internal "I knew it" moment. The resentment feels earned and justified, but it was born from a scenario you engineered. You set them up to fail so you could feel wronged.