https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do
Good Listening Is More Than Just Being Silent
The common perception of a good listener is someone who is quiet, nods along, and can repeat back what was said. However, this article argues that great listening is a much more active and engaged process. Simply being silent is not enough; in fact, it can be interpreted as passive or disengaged. The best listeners are active participants in a two-way conversation.
- Action Point: Move beyond passive listening. Instead of just staying quiet, prepare to engage in a constructive, two-way dialogue.
Great Listeners Ask Questions That Promote Discovery
Instead of just absorbing information, great listeners ask questions. These are not just clarifying questions, but questions that gently challenge assumptions and encourage deeper thinking. A good question demonstrates that you have not only heard what was said, but you've understood it well enough to want to explore it further. This helps the speaker to discover new insights and perspectives.
- Action Point: Practice asking questions that promote discovery and insight. Instead of "So, what you're saying is...", try questions that start with "What if..." or "Have you considered...". These types of questions can lead to more productive and insightful conversations.
Create a Positive and Supportive Environment
Great listeners make the conversation a positive experience for the other person. They create a safe and supportive environment where different ideas and opinions can be discussed openly without fear of judgment. This involves building the speaker's self-esteem and conveying confidence in them. The goal is to be helpful, not to win an argument.
- Action Point: Focus on creating a positive and supportive atmosphere. Avoid being critical or competitive. Your body language, tone of voice, and responses should all communicate that you are on the speaker's side and are there to help, not to debate.
Effective Listeners Offer Constructive Suggestions
While some advice suggests that listeners should avoid jumping in to solve problems, this research found that great listeners do offer suggestions and feedback. The key is how and when these suggestions are made. They are offered in a constructive and helpful way, opening up alternative paths for the speaker to consider. Suggestions are more likely to be well-received when they come from someone who has already established themselves as a supportive and engaged listener.
- Action Point: Don't be afraid to offer suggestions, but do so thoughtfully. Ensure that your suggestions are constructive and presented as alternative options rather than directives. The most effective listeners are like trampolines—they amplify, energize, and clarify the speaker's thinking, rather than just absorbing it.