https://lifehacker.com/how-to-help-your-kids-build-self-esteem-1841909386
Don't Over-Praise
While it's natural to want to praise your children, over-praising them can be counterproductive. Constant praise can lower the bar for them, suggesting they no longer need to push themselves. True self-esteem comes not from praise, but from developing competence.
Focus on Competence
Self-esteem is built on three pillars: feeling loved, feeling secure, and developing competence. While parents often provide the first two, competence is something a child must build for themselves through effort and practice. Confidence comes from doing, trying, failing, and trying again.
Provide Opportunities for Responsibility
Giving children age-appropriate jobs and responsibilities is a great way to help them build competence. Whether it's chores for younger children or a part-time job for a teenager, successfully tackling these tasks can be a powerful confidence booster.
Encourage Self-Assessment
Instead of always offering your own assessment of their performance, encourage your children to assess themselves. Ask them questions like, "How do you think that went?" or "What do you think you can do next time?". This helps them to develop the skill of self-reflection and course-correction.
Praise Effort, Not Results
Focus your praise on the effort your child puts in rather than the outcome. For example, instead of saying "I'm so proud you aced the test," you could say, "I saw how much you practiced your math problems this morning." This encourages a growth mindset and a willingness to take on new challenges.
Embrace Struggle and Risk
It's important to allow your children to struggle sometimes. Struggling with a task and eventually overcoming it is a powerful way to build competence. Encourage them to take on new challenges and take small risks, as this is how they will learn and grow. A competent child is a more confident child.