Distinguish Between What You Control and What You Don't:
- The vast majority of what happens in the world is outside of our control, and the world is largely indifferent to our wants and needs.
- Stoicism teaches that while we don't control what happens to us, we control how we respond to what happens to us. This understanding doesn't eliminate worry, but it provides a framework for managing it.
- Action Point: Focus your energy and intention on where you can make a difference and where you do have control, letting go of things over which you have zero control or influence.
It's Your Opinion, Not the Event, That Upset You:
- Epictetus's core teaching: "It's not things that upset us, it's our opinion about things". We make ourselves anxious; things don't make us anxious.
- The world is objective; our interpretation creates "good" or "bad": As Shakespeare is quoted, "neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so." Events are objective, and we tell ourselves what they mean, making up a story about them.
- Action Point: Recognise that you have control over your opinions and judgments, which means you can solve for anxiety. When faced with external events, question the story you're telling yourself about them and how that story affects your ability to act.
Avoid Suffering in Imagination (Pre-meditation of Evils):
- Seneca's wisdom: "He who suffers before it is necessary suffers more than is necessary." He adds, "we suffer more in imagination than in reality".
- Anxiety is torturing ourselves in advance: We anticipate what could happen and worry about it unnecessarily.
- Action Point: Be present and avoid dwelling on potential future misfortunes that may never materialise.
Discard Anxiety; It's Within You:
- Marcus Aurelius's approach: He wrote in Meditations, "Today I escaped my anxiety... No, no, actually I discarded it because it was within me".
- Personal agency over internal states: This highlights that anxiety is an internal state that we have the power to let go of.
- Action Point: Consciously choose to discard anxiety, understanding it originates within your own mind and is not imposed externally.
Practice the Four Stoic Virtues in Response to Adversity:
- When things go wrong, they present an opportunity to practice courage, Temperance, Justice, and Wisdom.
- Action Point: Instead of despairing, view challenging situations as moments to "step up with courage, to be self-disciplined, to do something for other people, to practice to learn to to experience wisdom".
Hone the Skill of Managing Your Mind and Focus:
- Meditation and mindfulness are crucial: These practices help you control the "thinking mind" so you aren't just swept away by it.
- Benefits of a managed mind: By calming the internal environment, you can reduce the need for distractions and address issues like procrastination, anxiety, and insomnia.
- Action Point: Engage in practices like meditation to gain control over what you focus on and pay attention to.
Embrace Hobbies and Routine for Mental Rest:
- The power of hobbies is immense: Engaging in hobbies "works different parts of your mind and then cause like rest through that," preventing an overworked mind from fracturing.
- Examples: Winston Churchill had painting, Marcus Aurelius went boar hunting, Seneca enjoyed writing, Socrates played the flute and games with children, and Cato drank wine and discussed philosophy.
- Action Point: Cultivate one or two good hobbies that force you to rest your mind from your primary responsibilities, allowing for mental replenishment.
Find Replenishment Within Yourself (The Inner Citadel):
- Marcus Aurelius's insight: You don't need to escape to exotic locations for rest; "you can retreat into yourself anytime you want" and find "replenishment and rest and relaxation inside your own soul".
- Internal resources: All the things you need and want are inside you, not external.
- Action Point: Practice introspection and self-reflection (like Marcus Aurelius did in Meditations) and connect with your inner self to find peace and solace.
Be Content to Be Seen as "Silly" or "Foolish" to Improve:
- Epictetus's advice for improvement: "If you want to improve be content to be seen as stupid or foolish or ignorant about some things".
- Vulnerability is key to learning: To get better at anything, you have to be willing to be bad at it first and comfortable being vulnerable, asking questions, and putting yourself out there.
- Action Point: Don't let the fear of being perceived as foolish hinder your learning and growth. Embrace the awkwardness and discomfort that comes with trying new things and making mistakes.
Cultivate Stillness and Presence:
- The "rock" analogy: Marcus Aurelius suggests being "the rock that the waves crash over and eventually the raging sea falls still around." This idea of stillness and being present is fundamental.
- Benefits of a flow state: Locking in, calming down, and being present can lead to joy, connection, gratitude, and great work.
- Action Point: Practice slowing down, locking into the present moment, and allowing external disturbances ("waves") to quiet down around you so you can focus on what needs to be done in that very moment.
Do Not Have an Opinion When It's Pointless:
- Marcus Aurelius's reminder: "You don't need to have an opinion about this... You always have the power of having no opinion".
- Selective engagement: If something is pointless gossip, trivia, or something you have zero control or influence over, you can simply let it be without forming a judgment.
- Action Point: Consciously choose not to engage or form an opinion about things that don't concern you or that you cannot influence, thus conserving your mental energy and peace.