In Lying, author and neuroscientist Sam Harris argues that we can radically simplify our lives and improve society by merely telling the truth in situations where others often lie. He focuses on "white" lies - those lies we tell for the purpose of sparing people discomfort - for these are the lies that most often tempt us. And they tend to be the only lies that good people tell while imagining that they are being good in the process.
The Corrosive Nature of Deception
A central tenet of Harris's argument is that all lies, regardless of their perceived size or intent, are inherently damaging. He dismantles the common justifications for "white lies," asserting that they erode trust and intimacy in our relationships. When we lie to others, we create a distorted reality for them, preventing them from acting on the truth. This can lead to decisions based on false premises, ultimately causing more harm than the truth might have.
Harris emphasises that lying also harms the liar. It complicates our lives by forcing us to maintain a web of deceit, which is mentally taxing and emotionally draining. Furthermore, every lie we tell chips away at our own integrity, creating a dissonance between our actions and our values. This internal conflict can lead to a diminished sense of self-worth and authenticity.
The Simplicity and Utility of Truth
Conversely, Harris extols the virtues of a life committed to truth. He argues that honesty simplifies our interactions and frees us from the cognitive burden of managing falsehoods. When we are truthful, we can be spontaneous and genuine in our communication, fostering deeper and more meaningful connections with others.
Moreover, a reputation for honesty is an invaluable asset. People who are known for their truthfulness are trusted and respected, leading to stronger personal and professional relationships. Harris suggests that even when the truth is difficult to deliver, it is ultimately a gift to the recipient, as it allows them to engage with reality as it is.
Action Points for a More Honest Life
Embrace Difficult Conversations: Instead of resorting to a "white lie" to spare someone's feelings, find a compassionate way to tell the truth. Harris believes that we often underestimate people's ability to handle the truth and that direct, though kind, communication is ultimately more respectful. For example, if a friend asks for an opinion on a creative work that you don't admire, you can offer constructive criticism rather than false praise.
Practice Tactful Honesty: Honesty does not require brutality. It is possible to be both truthful and kind. Before speaking, consider the most compassionate way to frame your honest response. The goal is to convey the truth without causing unnecessary harm.
Scrutinise Your Motives: Before telling a lie, no matter how small, pause and examine your reasons. Are you trying to avoid a minor inconvenience, or are you genuinely attempting to prevent a greater harm? Harris argues that most of our lies are self-serving and that a moment of reflection can often reveal a truthful path forward.
Accept the Consequences of Truth: Telling the truth will not always be easy, and it may sometimes lead to uncomfortable situations. However, Harris maintains that the long-term benefits of living an honest life far outweigh the short-term discomfort that the truth may cause.