24 October 2020

Seven tips for parenting teen boys: 'Nagging them is like shouting into a void'

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/oct/10/seven-tips-for-parenting-teen-boys-nagging-them-is-like-shouting-into-a-void

Boys and men tend to find validation and self-worth when they succeed at something they think is worthwhile. This partially explains teen sensitivity to failing, losing or looking “like a loser” in front of their friends or others their own age. When testosterone is combined with a hunger to test oneself in a body driven by an immature brain, the result often involves poor choices and risky behaviour.

1. Don’t shame them

2. Let them know they’re not stupid, they’re just developing

3. Don’t forget the loving names and reminding that you love them

4. Nagging them is like shouting into a void

5. Make your home a safe place for friends

6. Marinate them in stories of good men

7. Love them as they are, not for what you think they should be

Every teen boy is yearning to be seen, really heard and loved as he is not as we think he should be. They are way more vulnerable than we have been conditioned to believe. We need to love and respect our sons, especially while they cannot love or respect themselves – yet.