How To Argue With Someone Who Won’t Listen - Charisma on Command

Harvard negotiator explains how to argue - Big Think with Dan Shapiro

Understanding Conflict and Its Nature

• Acknowledge Conflict as Inevitable and Useful: Everyone experiences conflict, and while it can feel uncomfortable, it is inherently useful.
• Focus on "How" Not "What": The core problem in arguments is often not the specific topic ("what" we are arguing about), but rather "how" the disagreement is approached.
• Avoid the "Tribal Trap": Be aware of the tendency to discredit the opposing side, aiming to prove oneself right and silence others. This adversarial approach is unproductive.

How To Persuade Anyone Using Psychology - Charisma on Command

The YouTube video "Words That Win: How To Instantly Influence Anyone (use ethically)" from the "Charisma on Command" channel details seven powerful principles of persuasion that influence decision-making, including your own, and provides ethical ways to apply them, as well as how to recognise when they are being used on you. The video credits Robert Cialdini's book Influence as a primary source for these principles.

Social Proof:

• Principle: People look to others to determine the value of something or someone. If many people want something, others will also want it, even if they don't know why.
• Examples: A YouTuber hiring 25 paparazzi made the street think he was a movie star, leading people to line up for selfies despite not knowing him. People might assume someone is "worth something" if they are associated with other valued individuals.
• Warnings: This principle can warp your perception of someone in a closed social system (like school or office), potentially leading you to pursue relationships with people you don't actually like, or dismiss amazing people others don't value. It has limits; for example, a comedy club owner evaluating talent won't be tricked into thinking a comedian is funny just because a hired crowd laughs.
• Action Points:
  • When meeting new people, focus on having fun and talking to everyone; seeing you interact positively with various groups makes you "magnetic".
  • In job recruitment, applying to multiple companies and mentioning other offers (if you have them) can make you a more attractive candidate to your dream company, leveraging social proof (and scarcity).

5 Essential Tips for Long-Lasting Productivity - Ali Abdaal

Productivity is About Enjoying the Journey, Not Just Getting More Done:

• The truth about productivity isn't primarily about apps, perfect systems, discipline, or motivation. While these help, the "hidden secret" is learning to enjoy the journey, because "when we're having fun... productivity kind of just takes care of itself".
• We rarely need motivation for enjoyable activities like watching Netflix or playing video games. Motivation is typically required for tasks that are "short-term painful for long-term gain".
• Action Point: Shift your mindset to focus on finding joy in the tasks you're doing, rather than solely on the outcome or the quantity of work completed.

How To Let Go And Stop Worrying - Ryan Holiday Daily Stoic

Distinguish Between What You Control and What You Don't:

• The vast majority of what happens in the world is outside of our control, and the world is largely indifferent to our wants and needs.
• Stoicism teaches that while we don't control what happens to us, we control how we respond to what happens to us. This understanding doesn't eliminate worry, but it provides a framework for managing it.
• Action Point: Focus your energy and intention on where you can make a difference and where you do have control, letting go of things over which you have zero control or influence.

It's Your Opinion, Not the Event, That Upset You:

• Epictetus's core teaching: "It's not things that upset us, it's our opinion about things". We make ourselves anxious; things don't make us anxious.
• The world is objective; our interpretation creates "good" or "bad": As Shakespeare is quoted, "neither good nor bad but thinking makes it so." Events are objective, and we tell ourselves what they mean, making up a story about them.
• Action Point: Recognise that you have control over your opinions and judgments, which means you can solve for anxiety. When faced with external events, question the story you're telling yourself about them and how that story affects your ability to act.

Goals Toolkit: How to Set & Achieve Your Goals - Dr Andrew Huberman

The Unified Neural Circuit for Goal Pursuit:

• Regardless of the goal (from planning a craft day to building a billion-dollar company), the brain uses one common neural circuit for all goal setting, pursuit, and assessment.
• This circuit involves four key brain areas:
  • The amygdala, associated with fear and anxiety, which motivates us to avoid punishments or failures.
  • The basal ganglia (specifically the ventral striatum), which includes "go" circuits for initiating action and "no-go" circuits for preventing action.
  • The lateral prefrontal cortex, responsible for executive functions like planning and thinking across different timescales (immediate vs. long-term goals).
  • The orbitofrontal cortex, which meshes emotionality with current progress and compares it to future emotional states when a goal is reached.

50 Short Rules For Life From The Stoics - Ryan Holiday Daily Stoic

Focus on What You Control (Dichotomy of Control)

• Prioritise Your Efforts: Dedicate 100% of your energy to what is within your control, and 0% to what isn't. Worrying about things outside your control is pointless as it doesn't affect the outcome.
• Control Your Response: While you cannot control events, you can control how you respond to them. This is how you move forward; great leaders and individuals focus on their response.
• Don't Make Problems Worse: Avoid bemoaning or complaining about problems, as this makes them worse. Focus on what you can control and the good in the situation.

How To Get Through Life's Most Difficult Situations - Ryan Holiday Daily Stoic

Understand and Embrace Amor Fati (Love of Fate)

• Core Concept: Amor Fati means not just accepting, but loving and embracing everything that happens to you, including adversity. It's about taking the things that happen, whatever they may be, and using them to your advantage.
• Beyond Resignation: Acceptance, in the Stoic sense, is not defeatist or resigned. Instead, it's the first crucial step in being able to respond to challenges and turn them into something great.
• Analogy: Marcus Aurelius's idea that "what you throw in front of a fire is fuel for the fire" illustrates this concept – both good and bad events can fuel your growth.
• Life as it Is: Amor Fati involves accepting life as it is, with its inherent pain, adversity, failure, and the certainty of death and loss. To resist or be angry about these realities means to not love life itself.
• Action Point: Consciously decide to welcome things the way they happen, rather than wishing they would turn out a certain way. Whether you're born short or tall, if it's raining or sunny, be happy with it and make the most of it.

5 Ways to Improve Your Breathing for Better Health - Mel Robbins with Patrick McKeown

and 5 Ways To Improve Your Breathing with James Nestor

Prioritise Nose Breathing

• The Foundation of Healthy Breathing: Both experts stress that breathing in and out through the nose is the natural and correct way to breathe, for humans and most mammals. Mel Robbins herself noted she was a "mouth breather" and discovered she shouldn't be.
• Numerous Benefits of Nasal Breathing:
  • Filtration and Conditioning: The nose acts as the body's first line of defence, filtering, heating, pressurising, and moistening air before it reaches the lungs. This purifies the air and makes it more suitable for the body.
  • Increased Oxygen Uptake: Breathing through the nose allows the body to extract about 20% more oxygen than equivalent breaths through the mouth. It also increases oxygen delivery to working muscles, tissues, and organs, including the brain.
  • Nitric Oxide Production: Nasal breathing produces nitric oxide, a gas that is antiviral, antibacterial, helps open up airways, and redistributes blood throughout the lungs. This is particularly beneficial for respiratory complaints like bronchitis and for fighting viruses.

3 Steps to Stop Negative Thinking - Mark Manson

Mark Manson's video, "3 Steps to Stop Negative Thinking," provides actionable advice on managing negative thoughts, emphasising a shift in perspective rather than outright elimination of these thoughts.

Step 1: Accept that failure is a natural part of life.

• Recognise Self-Invented Failure: Understand that your definition of failure is almost always self-invented. Goals for money, profession (e.g., the corner office), or social life (e.g., number of friends, dating attractive people) are arbitrary benchmarks you set for yourself.
• Adjust Mental Standards: Nothing in the real world is ever as good as it is in your head. Holding yourself to a mental standard or fantasy created in your own mind will lead to misery and can make even "super successful people" hate their lives. Hold these mental images loosely, as reality will have problems and shortcomings.
• Avoid Spirals of Your Own Making: When you define success in a rigid way and don't meet it, it can lead to feeling like a loser and getting caught in negative spirals.
• Exaggeration Tendency: Your mind tends to exaggerate and amplify feelings or expectations, both good and bad. Remember that "nothing is ever really as bad as we think it is either".

Morgan Housel on Money and Life

Morgan Housel, author of The Psychology of Money, delves into various aspects of money management, with a particular focus on the behavioural and psychological elements of spending and broader life philosophies in his podcasts:

Learning Points from "The Art of Spending Money" (Episode 1)

1. Understand the Dual Nature of Spending: Recognise that spending money has both a scientific side (e.g., finding bargains, creating budgets) and an unquantifiable "art" that is deeply personal and varies from person to person.
2. Spending as a Reflection of Self: Be aware that how you choose to spend your money can reveal fundamental aspects of your character, values, and even an "existential struggle" about what you find valuable in life, who you spend time with, and how you wish to be remembered.
3. Acknowledge the Influence of Background: Your family background and past experiences heavily influence your spending preferences. Early experiences, particularly growing up poor or being "snubbed," can lead to "revenge spending" as a way to heal social wounds or signal success. Introspection into these past pains can help explain current spending patterns.
4. Avoid Being Entrapped by Expenses: Guard against building your life around money rather than using money to build your life. A "devotion to expense regardless of pleasure" can lead to becoming a "prisoner" to your finances, causing financial trouble and a lack of joy, as seen with George Vanderbilt and the Biltmore estate.
5. Recognise Frugality Inertia: Be mindful that a lifetime of good savings habits can become so ingrained in your identity that it's difficult to transition into a spending phase, even in retirement, potentially preventing you from enjoying the fruits of your labour.

Improving Sexual & Urological Health in Males and Females - Dr Andrew Huberman with Dr Rena Malik

1. Pelvic Floor Health: Strengthening vs. Relaxing

• What it is: The pelvic floor is a bowl of muscles connected to bones that hold up organs, crucial for urination, defecation, sexual function, and posture.
• Key Distinction: Many people focus on strengthening their pelvic floor (e.g., Kegels), but often, people need to learn to relax their pelvic floor for proper urologic and sexual function.
• Signs of an Unhealthy Pelvic Floor:
  • Too Tight/Contracted: Can result from stress, anxiety, overuse, or poor posture. Symptoms include urgency, frequency, leakage, difficulty urinating (or incomplete emptying), pain with sex/erections/ejaculation, various pain syndromes, constipation, and back pain.
  • Too Weak: Often seen after childbirth, in individuals with neurological disorders, or connective tissue disorders. Symptoms commonly include urinary incontinence or leakage.

Good Michael Lewis books for students to read on contemporary financial history

The 2007 credit crunch: The Big Short: Inside the Doomsday Machine

The government debt crises that followed after the credit crunch: Boomerang: The Meltdown Tour

The high frequency trading companies exploiting trading on exchanges and other electronic venues: Flash Boys

The Real Danger of Dating Apps - The Diary of a CEO with Scott Galloway

Dating Problems:

• Winner-Take-Most Market: Technology, including dating apps, consolidates sectors, creating a "winner-take-most" dynamic. This means a small percentage of individuals receive the vast majority of attention.
• Mating Inequality: Dating apps have created "mating inequality" comparable to income inequality in Venezuela. Women, who have a much "finer filter for mating" due to the greater downside of sex (e.g., pregnancy), tend to express interest in a significantly smaller group of men.
• Difficulty Signaling Key Qualities Online: While women are interested in men based on their ability to signal resources, intelligence, and kindness, dating apps primarily allow for the signaling of resources. Intelligence and kindness are much harder to convey digitally.
• Marginalisation of the "Bottom Half" of Men: The "top 10 percent in terms of attractiveness online" receive 90% of the interest, a phenomenon termed "Porsche polygamy". Conversely, the bottom half of men, based on online attractiveness (often crudely measured by wealth indicators), are "totally shut out of the market".

Scaling People: Tactics for Management and Company Building - Claire Hughes Johnson

A very good guide to to being a good people manager in the workplace. I think this is also useful for students about to start in the workplace, it gives them an idea of what organisations and managers in those organisations are optimising for.

1. The Importance of Self-Awareness in Leadership

A core principle of the book is that effective leadership starts with self-awareness. Johnson emphasizes that understanding your own values, work style, and communication preferences is crucial for building trust and leading teams effectively.

• Action Point: Take the time to understand your own leadership style. Johnson suggests using frameworks like Myers-Briggs, DiSC, or simply reflecting on your preferences to identify whether you are more introverted or extroverted, task-oriented or people-oriented. This self-awareness allows you to adapt your approach to better suit your team and the situation.

TED Talks: The official TED guide to public speaking: Tips and tricks for giving unforgettable speeches and presentations - Chris Anderson

One of the best guides to teach you how to develop and deliver the best presentations and talks:

1. Find Your "Throughline" 🗣️

The most important part of a great talk is having a clear, concise "throughline," or a central idea that connects every part of your presentation. This should be a single, memorable sentence that captures the essence of your message.

2. Tell a Story 📖

Humans are wired for stories. Weaving a personal anecdote or a compelling narrative into your talk can make your ideas more relatable, memorable, and emotionally resonant.

Life Lessons For Students About To Head To University - Ali Abdaal

Productivity Tips - Ali Abdaal

Hip, knee, ankle, and foot: common injuries, prevention, and treatment options - Dr Peter Attia with Adam Cohen

For those who are interested in learning more about hip and knee issues:

Knee Anatomy and Function

• Knee vs. Hip Joint: The knee joint is inherently more unstable than the hip joint, which is a true ball-and-socket joint.
• Key Structures:
  • Patella (Kneecap): The rounded bone at the front of the knee. The quadricep tendon attaches to its top, and the patellar tendon continues from it to attach to the tibia.
  • Cartilage: Covers the ends of all bones in the joint, allowing smooth gliding. Maintaining cartilage is crucial because its disappearance leads to problems. Chondrocytes (cartilage cells) respond to pressure by making more matrix and proteins, meaning a pressured chondrocyte is "happy," while an unpressured one will break down.
  • Ligaments: Provide stability to the joint.
    • Cruciate Ligaments: The anterior cruciate ligament (ACL) and posterior cruciate ligament (PCL) cross within the knee. The ACL is a commonly torn ligament.
    • Collateral Ligaments: Medial collateral ligament (MCL) and lateral collateral ligament (LCL) are on the sides of the knee.
  • Menisci: Two semicircular structures (medial and lateral menisci) that are imperative for distributing force across the knee and preventing cartilage wear. They distribute about 30% of the load through the knee joint. Without them, there's "point loading" or "edge loading," which rapidly degenerates cartilage.
  • Bones: Femur (thigh bone), Tibia (shin bone, the platform on which the knee sits), and Fibula (smaller bone on the outside, attaching to the tibia and LCL).

3 Rules That Will Immediately Change Your Life - Mark Manson

Rule #1: You are Responsible for Everything in Your Own Experience (Even if it's Not Your Fault) - Radical Responsibility

• Core Concept: This rule, rooted in existentialism, particularly from Jean-Paul Sartre, asserts that in every conscious moment, we are making choices. These choices include not only what we do but also how we perceive things.
• The Burden of Choice: Sartre highlighted that this constant necessity for choosing—of perception and action—is a significant mental and emotional load, leading humans to shirk responsibility.
• Avoiding Responsibility: People often blame others ("he made me do it," "my boss fucked up") or adopt others' values and belief systems ("my dad was a doctor, so I have to be one," "everyone else is doing it") to avoid this responsibility. Sartre called this "living in bad faith"—living for other people rather than for oneself.
• Living in Authenticity: Conversely, making conscious choices based on one's own principles and values, and being aware of these choices, is "living in authenticity". This is akin to "being yourself," understanding your values, and standing for them, even if it means social punishment.
• Foundation for Improvement: Manson states that personal responsibility is "step one of any sort of self-improvement". Without believing you are responsible and capable of choosing differently, there is no path to improvement.
• Responsibility/Fault Fallacy: A common hang-up is confusing responsibility with fault. Manson clarifies that being responsible for something does not mean it's your fault. For example, getting hit by a bus might not be your fault, but recovering from it is your responsibility. Similarly, if a baby is left on your doorstep, it's not your fault, but it's your responsibility to care for it.
• Broader Impact: Accepting radical responsibility is fundamental not only for self-improvement but also for mental and emotional health, being ethical, and having good relationships.

How to Read Faster - Mark Manson

There are a lot of misconceptions about how to read well,  so in this video we’ll cover some of the most common issues people seem to have. I can tell you now that the problem most of us have is that we learn to read books for school. And school conditions us to assume that we should be able to actively recall most things we read. We shouldn’t. Human memory doesn’t work that way. We just did that to make decent grades on the tests we took. And suck up to our teachers or whatever.

I’m here to tell you to scrap everything you know. Well, not everything, but a lot of it. Reading doesn’t have to be a slow and laborious chore. I urge you to gather around. Pull up a seat. Today we’re learning better reading habits and skills. The video includes tips on reading faster, remembering what you’ve read, how to read more, and some hacks on using what you’ve learned, or not.

The Science of Regret - Dr Maya Shankar A Slight Change of Plans with Daniel Pink

The YouTube video, "The Science of Regret | A Slight Change of Plans | Maya Shankar," features author Daniel Pink discussing the emotion of regret and how it can be a valuable force for good in our lives.

Understanding Regret

• Regret is Adaptive and Functional: Contrary to popular belief that we should only focus on positive emotions, negative feelings like regret are "adaptive" and "functional" if we learn how to treat them effectively. They can be a "force for good in our lives".
• Definition and Visceral Feeling: Regret is described as "the stomach turning feeling that the present would be better and the future brighter if only you hadn't chosen so poorly decided so wrongly or acted so stupidly in the past." It's a deeply personal and often uncomfortable emotion.
• Regret Reveals Our Values: When people express their deepest regrets, they are implicitly revealing "what they value the most." This makes regret a powerful signal in our psyche, "an air horn screaming" to pay attention to what truly matters to us.

Changing Your Mind - Dr Maya Shankar A Slight Change of Plans with Adam Grant

The Spotify podcast, "Changing Your Mind with Adam Grant - A Slight Change of Plans," dated 12 January 2023, focuses on strategies for cultivating a more open mind. The episode, featuring psychologist and author Adam Grant, explores how people can become better versions of themselves by rethinking their beliefs and perspectives.

• Overcoming Stubbornness in Beliefs: A significant barrier to personal growth is the tendency to stubbornly cling to old beliefs and ways of thinking. The podcast suggests that overcoming this resistance is crucial for self-improvement.
• Strategies for an Open Mind: Adam Grant, author of "Think Again: The Power of Knowing What You Don't Know," provides strategies for cultivating a more open mind. While the specific strategies are not detailed in the source, the focus is on practical approaches to encourage a receptive mindset.
• Revisiting Fundamental Beliefs: The discussion emphasises the importance of revisiting our fundamental beliefs about the world, not just our superficial opinions. This suggests an action point to deeply reflect on and challenge core assumptions.
• Debating Imposter Syndrome: The podcast includes a debate between Maya and Adam on the merits of imposter syndrome. This indicates a learning point around understanding different perspectives on self-perception and confidence.

7 Hacks To Master Your Productivity & Get More Done - Modern Wisdom with Peter Akkies

The YouTube videos, featuring Peter Akkies and Chris Williamson, offer a deep dive into the philosophy and practical application of productivity, highlighting that it's far more than just using the right apps.

Here are the key learning and action points:

1. The Fundamental Principle: Productivity is Emotional and Goal-Oriented, Not Just About Apps

• Productivity fundamentally boils down to understanding what you want to do in life, why it matters to you, and how you're going to achieve it.
• Many people initially seek advice on apps for to-do lists or note-taking, but the core issue often lies in unclear priorities. No app can fix a lack of clarity about what truly matters.
• A significant portion of time (up to 80%) is often spent on activities that don't align with one's deeper values or goals.
• Action Point: Start by getting "real deep" and identifying what you truly care about in life and what you're trying to achieve, even if it feels daunting.

Why Do The Left Not Care About Men’s Problems? - Modern Wisdom with George TheTinMen

and also on the same subject... Talking To A Feminist About Masculinity - Modern Wisdom with Christine Emba

The YouTube videos, featuring Christine Emba and George from The Tin Men, offer profound insights into the crisis of modern masculinity and highlight crucial learning and action points for fostering a more balanced and empathetic societal discourse around men's issues.

Here are the key learning and action points:

1. Acknowledging the Crisis of Modern Men:

• Shifting Societal Landscape: Society has dramatically changed over the past 30-40 years, benefiting women significantly but often leaving men, especially working-class men, feeling lost and experiencing a sense of malaise.
• Key Statistics & Disadvantages: Men face significant disadvantages in education (outnumbered in college degrees, 70% of COVID-19 dropouts were men), health (three out of four "deaths of despair" are men), and stagnant wages since the 1970s.
• Economic Shift: The economy has moved from "labor-intensive jobs towards jobs that reward soft skills and social skills and credentials," a shift that often disadvantages men, who traditionally filled more "brawn-based" roles.
• Cultural Loss: Traditional male archetypes (protector, provider) are no longer clearly defined, and the blurring of gender lines leaves many young men unsure of "what it means to be a man". They are looking for role models and coming up short.

How To Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power - Mel Robbins with Jefferson Fisher

The YouTube video "How To Handle Difficult People & Take Back Your Peace and Power" by Mel Robbins, featuring trial lawyer Jefferson Fisher, provides strategies for effective communication and maintaining personal power when dealing with challenging personalities and situations. The core message is that you always have power in any interaction, particularly in your response, and mastering this can lead to a sense of control and peace in your life.

1. Fundamental Mindset Shifts:

• Reframe "Difficult People": Instead of labelling someone as difficult, narcissistic, or negative, understand that they are often only difficult because they have an underlying fear, insecurity, or unmet need. They are often seeking to be heard, understood, or feel important. Shifting your viewpoint to see them as a human being with a poor way of seeking understanding immediately lowers the intensity of the interaction.
• Own Your Power: Recognize that you always have power in any situation, and it resides in your response, your breath, and what and when you choose to speak. Do not give this power away to others, especially those with bravado or emotionally immature behaviours.
• Choose Your Battles: You don't have to engage in every argument or conversation you're invited to. It's about knowing when it's worth your time and effort to engage.
• Confidence is Quiet, Insecurity is Loud: The person who talks the least in a meeting or argument is often the most confident and knowledgeable.

Be Confident: Use Body Language to Boost Your Influence & Income - Mel Robbins with Vanessa Van Edwards

The YouTube video "Be Confident: Use Body Language to Boost Your Influence & Income" featuring expert Vanessa Van Edwards, a behavioural investigator and founder of Science of People, focuses on charisma as a learned skill that significantly impacts influence, impact, and income. The core message is that people are constantly sending and receiving social signals, often unintentionally, and mastering these signals can transform interactions.

1. Understanding Charisma and Its Importance:

• Definition: Charisma is the "missing ingredient" that triggers success in relationships and professional life, making people take you seriously and feel more confident. It is not an innate trait but a learnable skill.
• Core Components: Highly charismatic people signal a balance of high warmth (trust, likability, friendliness) and high competence (capability, power, effectiveness) at all times.
• Impact: Charisma accounts for 82% of how people evaluate you in every interaction, not just first impressions – including LinkedIn profiles, Zoom calls, phone calls, chats, and emails. It helps you be more influential, successful, and enjoy social settings.
• The "Social Lubricant": Charisma acts as a "lubricant" that smooths conversations and relationships, counteracting "crunchy" awkwardness caused by fear of rejection, criticism, or saying something stupid.

How to Complain - The School of Life

1. Recognise the Ubiquity of Hurt:

• Almost daily, people in our lives – friends, colleagues, children, or most likely, partners – will hurt us through neglect, unkindness, thoughtlessness, offensiveness, or brusqueness.
• How we respond to this "maltreatment" is fundamental to our character and significantly impacts our quality of life.

How to Enhance Performance & Learning by Applying a Growth Mindset - Dr Andrew Huberman

Andrew Huberman details the powerful concepts of growth and "stress is enhancing" mindset, providing scientific backing and practical tools for improving performance and learning.

1. Understanding Growth Mindset:

• Definition: Growth mindset is the belief that our abilities are not fixed but are malleable and can be improved through effort. It involves embracing challenge and optimising one's response to it. This concept is deeply tied to neuroplasticity, the brain's ability to change in response to experience throughout one's entire lifespan, especially through deliberate, focused learning.
• Distancing Identity from Performance: A crucial, counter-intuitive aspect of growth mindset is separating your identity from your performance. Praising someone for being "smart," "talented," or "a great athlete" can actually undermine future performance, especially for those who already perform well, because their identity becomes integrated with their results.
• Shifting Focus to Effort: Instead of attaching identity to performance, attach it to effort, the enjoyment of learning, and the process of getting better. This means shifting internal and external narratives from "intelligence praise" (labels like "smart," "talented") to "effort praise" (verbs like "you tried really hard," "you persisted").

Naval Ravikant: The Angel Philosopher - The Knowledge Project

Naval Ravikant shares insights and actionable strategies for improving life, learning, and decision-making.

1. Cultivating Reading as a Foundational Habit:

• Embrace what you love to read, even if it's "junk food," as your taste will evolve naturally. Don't let others dictate what you should read.
• Invest in books, viewing them as valuable investments that can change your life, rather than expenses.
• Reread "great books" multiple times to allow their wisdom to deeply integrate into your understanding and "become part of the threads of the tapestry of your psyche."
• Don't feel obligated to finish every book. Treat books like blogs: skim, jump around, and consume only the parts that truly interest you without guilt.
• Make reading a daily habit. The consistency of reading for even an hour or two a day, regardless of the specific content, can dramatically improve your life and intelligence. Read what you're excited about.
• Read widely and contrarianly, including content you might disagree with or consider unconventional. This prevents "herd thinking" and fosters unique insights, leading to "non average outcomes."
• Be ruthless with books that don't capture your attention. If a book isn't interesting within the first chapter or makes fundamentally untrue statements, drop it or skip ahead. Your time is valuable.
• Once you've grasped the main point of a non-fiction book, you can often put it down as much of the remaining content might be repetitive examples.

16 Life-Changing Ideas You’ve Never Heard Of - Modern Wisdom with George Mack

Reclaiming Optimism

• "Optimism as a Scam" Thesis: The video suggests that optimism has been "oversold" as a product, particularly influenced by books like "The Secret," which promoted the idea of manifesting reality through affirmations. While acknowledging successful examples like Winston Churchill, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and John Rockefeller, the hosts point out that for every such success, there are "10,000 delusional assholes". Dave Chappelle's joke about starving children in Africa not manifesting food highlights the flaws in this oversold version of optimism.
• Redefining Optimism: Instead of magical manifestation, optimism should be seen as a "one percent improvement every single day". This approach, similar to the compounding effect (e.g., James Clear's 0.1% daily improvement leading to 36x in a year), makes optimism more appealing to skeptics.
• Placebo Effect & Reticular Activating System (RAS): The widespread scientific acknowledgment of the placebo effect (100,000 PubMed results) is used to argue that an optimistic frame, while not manifesting reality, makes you more likely to "spot those opportunities" because your RAS tunes into what appeals to it.
• Optimism as Realism: Given that "every quantifiable metric available says that things are getting better," what appears to be optimism is often realism, and what looks like realism can be pessimism.
• Optimism + High Agency: Optimism is most valuable when paired with high agency, which is the ability to act and enact change. Optimism with low agency is considered "not valuable at all".

The Story of the Mexican Fisherman

An American investment banker was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked.  Inside the small boat were several large yellowfin tuna.  The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, “only a little while. The American then asked why didn’t he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family’s immediate needs. The American then asked, “but what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The Mexican fisherman said, “I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siestas with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine, and play guitar with my amigos.  I have a full and busy life.”

The American scoffed, “I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several boats, eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor, eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing, and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then LA and eventually New York City, where you will run your expanding enterprise.”

The Mexican fisherman asked, “But, how long will this all take?”

To which the American replied, “15 – 20 years.”

“But what then?” Asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said, “That’s the best part.  When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions!”

“Millions – then what?”

The American said, “Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siestas with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos.”

Can Money Actually Buy You Happiness? - Modern Wisdom with Dr Mike Israetel

Learning Points:

• The Pessimistic Fallacy: This is a widespread cognitive bias where most people tend to believe things were better in the past, are worse now, and will get worse in the future, often contradicting empirical evidence. Attempts to correct this are often met with further pessimism, with realists labelled as "Pollyannas".
• Challenging the Myth of Wage Stagnation: The popular belief that wages haven't increased significantly (e.g., since the 1970s in the US) is a misconception. This notion often fails to account for:
  • The increased remuneration and seniority of real people over time, not just static job titles.
  • The vastly improved ease and safety of modern jobs compared to brutal past roles.
  • Total Compensation: This includes a much richer offering of health benefits, daycare, time off, and bonuses, which has skyrocketed since the 1970s, making simple wage comparisons misleading.
  • Median Income and Total Compensation: Looking at these metrics provides a more accurate picture, showing that they have consistently increased in modern Western countries for as long as data has been collected.

Why You Should Take a Cold Shower Every Morning for Good Health - Wim Hof with Dr Rangan Chatterjee

Action Points:

1. Embrace the Mission of Happiness, Strength, and Health: Wake up every day with the purpose of being a "missionary" for these values, as they are scientifically proven to be within our grasp.
2. Start Cold Showers Daily:
   • Gradual Approach: Begin with a hot shower, then turn the water cold for the last 30 seconds.
   • Increase Duration: Gradually increase the cold exposure by 10 seconds each day, aiming for two to three minutes within 10 days.
   • Focus on Breathing: While in the cold, do not cramp up. Focus on long, slow out-breaths to prevent panic and allow the body to adapt.
   • Progress to Cold Baths/Nature: Once comfortable with daily cold showers, you can progress to cold baths or natural bodies of water.
   • Benefits: Daily cold showers help regulate mood, reduce stress, improve sleep, boost energy, enhance blood flow, strengthen the vascular system, and increase resilience against all types of stress.

The Secret Power of Unsent Letters - The School of Life

A great approach to stop ruminating. Write out a structured note on the issue and all your thoughts about it.

... and a lot more detail on The Science of Our Inner Voice - Dr Maya Shankar A Slight Change of Plans with Prof Ethan Kross:

Prioritise Emotional Expression and Processing:

• Acknowledge and Address Emotions: Recognise that suppressing emotions is detrimental to mental and physical health.
• Engage in Self-Directed Expression: Understand that emotional catharsis is possible even without the direct involvement of the person who caused the distress. Writing unsent letters is a powerful tool to organise confused feelings, transform pain into understanding, and validate your own experience.

How To Remain Calm With People - The School of Life

1. Distinguish Action from Intention:

• A fundamental way to calm down is to hold onto the distinction between what someone does and what they meant to do.
• The video draws a parallel to legal concepts like murder versus manslaughter, where the outcome (a body is inert) might be the same, but the perpetrator's intentions make a huge difference in how we collectively perceive the act.
• Unfortunately, people are often poor at discerning motives and can be "easily and wildly mistaken," frequently seeing harmful intention where none exists, which leads to unwarranted escalation and confrontation.

Are Violent Video Games Actually That Harmful? Male Status Seeking - Modern Wisdom with Michael Kasumovic

The YouTube video, featuring Michael Kasumovic, delves into the complex motivations and psychological impacts of video games, particularly violent ones, linking them to fundamental human drives such as status-seeking and mate attraction.

1. Motivation Behind Playing Violent Video Games

• Fun and Status Seeking: While video games are inherently fun, Kasumovic and his colleague Tom Denson believe that a deeper motivation for playing violent video games is the search for status. These games provide a platform to test one's "metal" against others, understand one's standing in a hierarchy, and gain a better understanding of oneself relative to others.
• Hierarchy and Aggression: Social hierarchies are prevalent in almost all animal species, including humans, with individuals at the top gaining more benefits. Violence and aggression have historically been ways to maintain or challenge this order. Video games offer a low-cost environment to constantly test and adjust one's position within a hierarchy.

Why You Should Spend All Of Your Money - Modern Wisdom with Bill Perkins

The YouTube video featuring Bill Perkins, author of "Die With Zero," focuses on a philosophy of optimising life for maximum fulfilment by strategically managing one's wealth, health, and time. The core message revolves around not wasting one's life by accumulating money that will never be used and instead, intentionally designing a life rich in experiences.

1. The "Die With Zero" Philosophy: Maximising Net Fulfilment

• Purpose of Life is Fulfilment: Perkins argues that the purpose of life is net fulfilment, not the highest net worth. He proposes running an "algorithm" for one's life that solves for net fulfilment using wealth, health, and time as variables.
• Fear of Wasting Life: His motivation for writing the book stemmed from a deep fear of wasting his own life, a sentiment he believes many share but act against. He suggests people often operate on "autopilot," aiming to survive rather than thrive.
• Money is a Tool, Not the Goal: Money is simply a tool to build happiness, much like a hammer builds a house. Many people mistakenly focus on acquiring more "hammers and saws" (money) without actually "building the house" (experiencing happiness and fulfilment).
• Don't Die with Unused "Chuck E. Cheese Tokens": The analogy of accumulating Skee-Ball tickets or Chuck E. Cheese tokens without ever redeeming them for a prize highlights the folly of working for money one never spends. If you exchange hours of your life for money you never use, you are effectively wasting your life.

The Dangers of Being a Germophobe - Dr Jordan Peterson with Dr Steve Templeton

Dr. Steve Templeton, author of "Fear of a Microbial Planet: How a Germaphobic Safety Culture Makes Us Less Safe," discusses the pandemic response and the underlying cultural issues.

• Motivation for the Book: Dr. Templeton was "floored" by the public's response to the pandemic, particularly the widespread acceptance of lockdowns and controls by politicians and public health experts. He was surprised by behaviours like people wearing masks outdoors, playgrounds being shut down, and hiking trails being closed, despite a lack of evidence of risk in such activities. As an immunologist, he noted that the pandemic was age-stratified in terms of mortality, with children largely unaffected, facts known early on. He was struck by the social, political, and psychological responses rather than just the biological aspects.

• Critique of the Pandemic Response as an "Autoimmune Response": Templeton uses the metaphor of an immune response, suggesting that a healthy response starts non-specifically but becomes more targeted, causing less collateral damage. He argues that the pandemic response became like an autoimmune response, attacking things that "didn't matter," such as schools, and issuing mandates without evidence. He believes the response was driven by the "appearance of safety" rather than real safety.

How To Make A Rude Person Instantly Regret Disrespecting You - Charisma on Command

The YouTube video "How To Silence A Rude Person" from the "Charisma on Command" channel provides guidance on how to respond to insults or rude comments, especially from friends, without escalating the situation into a fight.

Do not retaliate with an insult when genuinely hurt

Firing back with an insult when your feelings are hurt is a common reaction, but it can damage relationships and make you appear rude, even if you didn't start it. While it might feel good in the moment, you'll almost always regret it. Jonah Hill's early public apologies for such reactions serve as an example of what to avoid.

Deny Them What They Want (Attention and an Answer)

• Most people who insult you are seeking something in return, such as attention, a laugh, or an emotional overreaction.
• The strategy is to punish the behaviour by denying them this positive reinforcement. This means ignoring the person and actively shifting the focus to someone else in the group.
• Example: When a paparazzi asked Jonah Hill if he was "the fat guy in Hollywood still," Jonah responded by asking, "Do you have any other questions that are smart?" and then asked, "I have a question because you're in Atlanta," effectively denying the questioner the specific attention and answer they sought.
• Effectiveness: Sometimes, not reacting at all is enough to project confidence, as demonstrated by Kobe Bryant.

Why Do So Many People Not Want To Have Children? - Modern Wisdom with Malcolm Collins

Malcolm Collins highlights a global demographic crisis, its underlying causes, potential future scenarios, and controversial solutions.

The Demographic Crisis: Scale and Impact

• Imminent Population Collapse: Korea faces a potential 94% population collapse over the next century, with only 5.9 great-grandchildren for every 100 Koreans at its current fertility rate. Malcolm Collins argues it's likely already "too late" for Korea to reverse this trend as 60% of its citizens are over 40.
• A Universal Problem (with few exceptions): Not a single society on Earth, except possibly Israel, has managed to achieve prosperity, gender equality, and high levels of education while maintaining a stable population. This suggests a fundamental flaw in the current model of human civilisation.
• Ignoring the Problem: Many, especially in economic sectors like venture capitalism, acknowledge the problem but choose to "pretend like that's not the case" in their investments, as accepting it would cause the economy and society to stop functioning. There is also a tendency, particularly on the progressive side, to dismiss it by saying "the planet's better without humans".
• Threat to Diversity: The core concern is not about increasing the world's population, but preventing a "massive collapse in cultural and ethnic diversity". Without intervention, the future could be dominated by a very small number of cultural/ethnic groups.

What do we owe our friends? - How to Talk to People

The YouTube video, "What Do We Owe Our Friends? How to Talk to People, Episode 3" from The Atlantic, features Julie Beck, Becca Rasheed, Lizzy Post (co-president of the Emily Post Institute), and Marissa Franco (psychologist and author of Platonic). It delves into common conflicts and misunderstandings in friendships, offering insights and advice on fostering deeper connections in a culture that often leaves friendship expectations undefined.

Learning Points:

1. Normalisation of Flaking and its Impact: Flaking, or cancelling plans last minute, has become a "routine part of social life" and is often expected. This trend, where people cancel with "no explanation" or simply because they're "not feeling up to it" or "tired from work," is seen as problematic and frustrating by many. It signifies a lack of reliability in plans.
2. The "Protecting Our Energy" Premium: Society often places a high value on "protecting our energy" and "bandwidth," but this can come "at the cost of our relationships" if it leads to consistent flaking and a feeling that one doesn't "care about this friendship". The idea of needing to be in "optimal Tip-Top shape" to socialise can prevent showing up for friends.
3. Ambiguity of Friendship Expectations: Unlike romantic relationships, where expectations are often more defined, friendships encompass many different kinds of relationships, leading to "clashing expectations" that often go unspoken. The "endless possibility" of friendship can be both a strength and overwhelming.

The Evolutionary Psychology Of Bullying - Modern Wisdom with Tony Volk

Super interesting:

The YouTube video, featuring Tony Volk, a researcher specialising in bullying, delves into the complex nature of bullying from an evolutionary psychology perspective, challenging common misconceptions and offering insights into its causes, dynamics, and potential interventions.

1. Definition and Nature of Bullying

• Definition: Bullying is defined as a deliberate, aggressive attempt against a weaker individual that causes harm. It must be goal-directed and occur in a context where the victim has difficulty defending themselves, establishing a clear power imbalance. This distinguishes it from general aggression.
• Not a Rite of Passage: Bullying is not a minor issue or a "rite of passage"; severe bullying can affect an individual's immune response and gene expression for decades.
• Ubiquitous and Hard to Prevent: Bullying is observed across time and cultures, making it a ubiquitous and challenging behaviour to prevent.

What Alcohol Does To Your Body, Brain & Health Podcast Clips - Dr Andrew Huberman

1. Alcohol's Impact on Sleep

• Sedative, Not a Sleep Aid: Alcohol is a sedative, which people often mistake for a sleep aid, especially when struggling with sleep. However, sedation is not natural sleep; it merely causes one to lose consciousness quicker rather than falling asleep naturally.
• Sleep Fragmentation: Alcohol leads to fragmented sleep, causing individuals to wake up many more times throughout the night, even if they don't consciously recall these awakenings. This results in sleep that is less continuous and less restorative, leaving one feeling unrestored the next morning.
• Blocking REM Sleep: Alcohol is potent at blocking REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is crucial for various cognitive functions, learning, memory, and emotional and mental health. REM sleep is described as "overnight therapy" or "emotional first aid". Lack of REM sleep can make people more emotionally sensitive and easily derailed.
• Reduced Growth Hormone: Alcohol-laced sleep can cause a significant drop of over 50% in growth hormone release during the night, as REM sleep is a time when certain hormonal systems are recharged.
• Even Small Amounts Have an Effect: Even a single glass of wine with dinner can have a measurable effect on sleep, particularly reducing REM sleep.

How To Navigate The Dangers Of Modern Dating - Modern Wisdom with Sadia Khan

1. Sadia Khan's Background and Motivation Sadia Khan is a relationship coach who previously taught psychology and holds a master's in psychotherapy and education. She began posting relationship advice online about a year ago after noticing a "gap of understanding in the market" and feeling that many podcasts were teaching "the wrong things" by pitting men and women against each other. She couldn't comprehend the anger and hostility or how it could benefit people, aiming to debunk the "Zeitgeist to just kind of hate the opposite gender".

2. Critique of Online Relationship Advice and Division Online platforms thrive on content that divides men and women, often driven by clickbait and appealing to vulnerable or "broken and hurt" individuals who are more likely to share and engage. Many young people lack real-life relationship experience and use the internet as a "template for relationships". This division is often a "trauma response" stemming from low self-esteem, where people reject what they fear will reject them to defend their ego (e.g., "men are trash" as an excuse not to work on oneself for a positive relationship). Shared hatreds are more cohesive than shared loves, providing an incentive for creators to polarise. Most creators aim for popularity and to sell something, not necessarily to heal.

The Basics of Preventing Cardiovascular Disease, Cancer and Dementia - Modern Wisdom with Dr Peter Attia

Dr Peter Attia has his own podcast that goes into a lot of detail on the subjects of preventing cardiovascular disease, cancer and dementia through exercise, diet and sleep. Here is a podcast where he discusses them on another presenter's podcast and thus you get a good high level summary

Learning Points:

• Holistic View of Longevity: Attia emphasises focusing on both lifespan and healthspan, encompassing physical, emotional, and mental health, rather than just extending years.
• Low-Tech Fundamentals Over Biohacking: While fascinated by high-tech advancements, Attia advocates for a somewhat low-tech approach, stressing that fundamental practices like maintaining a high VO2 max and being incredibly strong will do more for lifespan and healthspan than most biohacking or gut biome manipulation.
• Risk Management in Life Decisions: Drawing from his background at McKinsey, Attia applies principles of risk management, probability, and statistics to daily life. He advises individuals to think about symmetric and asymmetric risk, expected value, and hedging risk in every decision, weighing the upside against the downside.
• Compliance as the Longest Lever: The most critical factor for any health programme is adherence and compliance. Systems and protocols must be personalised to work for the individual; high-bar approaches that lead to failure are counterproductive.

How to Become Happier Today - Dr Rangan Chatterjee with Mo Gawdat

Mo Gawdat, a former Chief Business Officer at Google X, shares insights on happiness, drawing from his personal experience of achieving immense material success while being clinically depressed, and later, coping with the tragic loss of his son.

Learning Points:

• Happiness as a Default State and Absence of Unhappiness: Happiness is inherently within us, a calm, peaceful contentment, and a state of being "okay with life as it is". It is not something to be achieved, but rather the absence of the burdens and "crap" we add to our lives.
• The Misguided Pursuit of Success: Modern society, particularly influenced by post-World War II values, instils a belief that hard work, making money, and achieving success and safety will lead to happiness. However, this is a flawed assumption; many wealthy and famous individuals are clinically depressed, demonstrating that success does not guarantee happiness.
• The "All-Pervasive Dissatisfaction": Humans are prone to a constant striving for more, a "little voice in your head" that says "it's not good enough" regardless of what has been achieved or acquired. This inherent dissatisfaction prevents lasting contentment.

Optimizing Your Gut to Fight Disease - Rich Roll With Tim Spector

Dr. Tim Spector, a globally renowned epidemiologist, geneticist, and author, is considered a leading expert on gut health and diet. His work, particularly through the Twins UK project and the company Zoe, has significantly advanced the understanding of the microbiome and personalized nutrition. The YouTube video details several key learning and action points related to optimizing gut health to fight disease.

Learning Points:

• The Microbiome as a Virtual Organ: The microbiome is a vast community of trillions of microorganisms (including bacteria, archaea, fungi, yeasts, viruses, and parasites) predominantly residing in our lower intestine. It functions like a "virtual organ," weighing about 2 kilograms, and acts as "mini pharmacies" that produce various chemicals (metabolites) influencing our immune system, brain (mood), and metabolism.
• The Power of Mutability: Unlike our relatively fixed genetic makeup (which accounts for roughly 50% of disease susceptibility), the microbiome is highly mutable. This means that diet and lifestyle changes can rapidly alter its composition and function, offering a powerful avenue for improving health.

The Secret of Successful Relationships: Rupture and Repair - The School of Life

The YouTube video from "The School of Life" introduces the psychotherapeutic concept of "rupture and repair" as a framework for understanding and managing tensions within relationships. It posits that every relationship will inevitably experience moments of frustration or loss of trust, termed 'ruptures'.

Learning Points:

• Understanding Ruptures: Ruptures are moments when trust is lost in another person, making it difficult to safely deposit love or believe they can be kind and understanding. These can range from minor incidents, like an unenthusiastic greeting or an unflattering anecdote shared with friends, to more serious issues such as insults, property damage, forgotten birthdays, or infidelity. Critically, the occurrence of ruptures, regardless of their gravity, does not inherently predict a relationship's survival.
• The Significance of Repair: What truly determines a relationship's prospects is the capacity for 'repair'. Repair is the effort required for two people to rebuild trust and re-establish each other in their minds as essentially decent, sympathetic, and capable of understanding their needs. Psychotherapy suggests that the ability to repair is not merely one skill among many, but rather a central determinant of emotional maturity, marking an individual as a "true adult".

Action Points for Effective Repair:

The No.1 Sex Expert: How To Have Great Sex EVERY Time! (And Fix Bad Sex) - The Diary Of A CEO with Tracey Cox

Tracey Cox, a celebrated sex educator, provides key insights and actionable advice on various aspects of sex and relationships, aiming to make complex research practical for individuals.:

1. Understanding the "Sex Recession" and Sexless Relationships

• There is a "sex recession," where many couples, even those in their 30s, are in sexless relationships.
• If you haven't had sex with your partner for a year, it's very unlikely you'll have sex again unless you confront the issue head-on. It's easy to get out of the habit of sex, and ignoring it will not make it pass.
• Sex isn't the be-all and end-all for everyone; some couples with matching low libidos can be perfectly happy without much sex. However, problems arise when one partner desires sex and the other doesn't.
• A "sexless relationship" is now defined as not having had sex in a year, though a "low sex relationship" might be around 10 times a year.

How Psilocybin Can Rewire Our Brain, Its Therapeutic Benefits & Its Risks - Dr Andrew Huberman

The Huberman Lab podcast episode featuring Andrew Huberman provides an in-depth discussion on psilocybin, a psychedelic that modifies the psyche and alters consciousness. The episode covers its nature, how it works at the molecular and cellular levels, its effects on brain circuitry, clinical applications, dosages, and risks.

Definition and Effects of Psilocybin:

• Psilocybin is a psychedelic that changes one's perception of the external and internal world, including memories, thoughts, and feelings.
• These changes can persist long after the immediate influence of the drug, leading to growing excitement for its application in treating various mental health issues.
• It is considered a tryptamine, a chemical class that closely resembles serotonin.

Mechanism of Action - Mimicking Serotonin:

• Psilocybin's primary effect is to mimic serotonin, specifically by activating a subset of serotonin receptors in a strong fashion.
• Psilocin, not psilocybin, is the active compound that enters the brain to create changes in consciousness and rewiring effects. Psilocybin is converted to psilocin, which affects the duration of the "journey" and the window for neuroplasticity.
• Psilocin predominantly binds to and activates the serotonin 2A receptor (5-HT2A), which is expressed in specific brain areas and neurons, leading to precise changes in neural circuitry. This selectivity explains its distinct effects compared to the more general action of serotonin or SSRIs.
• Serotonin, a neuromodulator, impacts mood, satiety, pleasure, and motivation, and has many receptors, explaining why drugs affecting serotonin have diverse side effects.