Growth versus Fixed Mindset

In a fixed mindset people believe that their intelligence is fixed and static. Those who adopt a fixed mindset are more likely to:

• Want to PROVE intelligence or talent.
• Put in less effort to learn. Believe putting in effort is worthless.
• Stay in their comfort zone and avoid challenges to avoid failure.
• Quit easily at first failure, believing it is validation they will never master the talent.
• View feedback as personal criticism and ignore it. Hide flaws so as not to be judged by others.
• Feel threatened by the success of others.

In a growth mindset people believe that intelligence and talents can be improved through effort and learning. Those who adopt a growth mindset are more likely to:

• Want to IMPROVE intelligence or talent through life long learning.
• Put in more effort to learn. Believe putting in effort is worthwhile.
• Get out of their comfort zone and embrace challenges.
• Believe failures are just temporary setbacks and repetitions/opportunities to learn from.
• View feedback as an opportunity to learn.
• View others’ success as a source of inspiration.

Adopt of growth mindset!

Physical mindfulness and flow states

A lot of advice on mindfulness focuses on activities that are not normally part of the average day, such as breathing exercises or focussing on a body part or specific aspect of your environment. I find it very difficult to dedicate time to this style of activity. However, I have found that I really enjoy physical activities such as golf and archery, that I believe bring the same benefits of mindfulness but with the enjoyment of the sport in question. In order to learn and master these crafts, you need to practise regularly, entering a flow state each time. Because I enjoy these activities, I am happy to practise 3-4 times per week, thus regularly entering a flow state.

Headspace defines flow state as "A sense of fluidity between your body and mind, where you are totally absorbed by and deeply focused on something, beyond the point of distraction. Time feels like it has slowed down. Your senses are heightened. You are at one with the task at hand, as action and awareness sync to create an effortless momentum. Some people describe this feeling as being in the zone. This is the flow state and it’s accessible to everyone, whether you’re engaged in a physical activity, a creative pursuit, or even a simple day-to-day task." 

I like to refer to the use of fun physical activities, that allow you to easily enter a flow state, as "physical mindfulness".

Happiness, Confidence, Confrontation and Rumination - Knowledge For Men

How to be happy and create the life you want

How to increase confidence and become a high value man

How to deal with confrontation, avoid anxiety, and be a stronger man:

How to stop ruminating, quit obsessing over mistakes and move on with your life:

How to be Happy And Create The Life You Want

Learning Points:

• Happiness is an Inside Job: External achievements, possessions, or validation from others are fleeting sources of happiness. True, sustainable happiness comes from internal work, mindset, and alignment with your values.
• Responsibility is Power: Blaming external circumstances or other people for your unhappiness disempowers you. Taking 100% responsibility for your life, your reactions, and your results is the first step toward creating change.
• Lack of Vision is a Primary Cause of Unhappiness: Many people feel lost or unfulfilled because they have no clear vision for what they want their life to look like. Without a target, you cannot move towards it purposefully.
• Happiness is a Byproduct, Not a Goal: Happiness is not something to be pursued directly. It is the natural outcome of living a life of purpose, overcoming challenges, having strong relationships, and being in good health.

Gender Through the Eyes of a Primatologist - Dr Jordan Peterson with Frans de Waal

An interesting podcast discussing how gender/sex differences affect humans with reference to what has been learned from primates and other animal species.

1. Dr. Frans de Waal's Work and Influence

• Dr. de Waal is a highly accomplished scientist, having published hundreds of articles in prestigious journals like Science and Nature, a feat described as rare and placing him "in the league of his own".
• His popular books, translated into over 20 languages, have made him one of the world's most visible primatologists.
• His work has been profoundly influential, particularly on the biological basis of morality, the development of moral sentiments in chimpanzees, and the sophisticated nature of hierarchical behaviour in primates. He also focuses on play and gender.
• De Waal was trained as an ethologist, studying naturalistic animal behaviour, initially focusing on observation and later incorporating behavioural experiments to study reconciliation, empathy, and cooperation.

2. Hierarchies and Social Organisation

• De Waal challenges the simplistic view that dominance hierarchies are based purely on coercion and power. He argues that a dominant individual needs followers, and dominance is a "two-way street".
• Stable alpha males in chimpanzee society are often not bullies, but rather peacekeepers who break up fights, defend the underdog (e.g., juveniles against adults, females against males), reassure distressed individuals, and can be extremely popular.

Is it Time for a Tactical Break from Alcohol? - Dr Rangan Chatterjee

The "Middle Lane Drinker"

Many of us fall into the category of a "middle lane drinker." This term, coined by podcast guest Andy Ramage, describes individuals who are not alcoholics but regularly consume alcohol to unwind, at social events, or more heavily on weekends. This regular consumption can become a habit that we don't question, even if it's not serving us well.

The Power of a Tactical Break

The core message of the podcast is to consider a "tactical break" from alcohol. This isn't necessarily about quitting forever, but about taking a deliberate pause—whether it's for 28, 90, or 365 days—to experience the benefits. Andy Ramage, who initially planned a 30-day break and is now six years alcohol-free, emphasizes that this break can lead to profound changes in your life.

It's never to early to start

Many modern lifestyle diseases such as heart disease, diabetes or dementia, do not suddenly occur in old age. They are formed in your 20s, 30s, 40s and 50s. It is only that the symptoms become significant in old age.

To help prevent them, you need to focus on good sleep, healthy eating (eating less processed food, eating more diverse food, drinking less alcohol...), regular exercise and participating in good social relationships throughout your adult life. What you do in your earlier life sows the seeds for your later life, so don't wait for tomorrow to make changes.

I am who I think you think I am

I heard a great quote today:

"I am not who I think I am. I am not who you think I am. I am who I think you think I am." - Charles Cooley

Charles Cooley referred to the "Looking-Glass Self": we come to know ourselves by seeing our reflection in other people’s eyes.

It is hard enough to understand our own perceptions without subjective error. Other people form their perceptions of you through fragments of interactions with you, seen through their own understanding; this introduces subjective error. Our perception of other people's perception (of us) adds another layer of subjective error.

Given that our perception of someone else's perception may drive who you think you are, think hard about who you want to be, who you feel you are, and how you are influenced by yourself and others. Your identity, or more specifically, your perception of your identity, is a critical asset, so make sure you don't sleepwalk into who you think you are. Direct your thinking to what achieves the best outcome.

The Liver King - The Diary of a CEO

Quite enjoyed listening to this podcast with The Liver King. Don't agree with everything said but lots of good points raised:

Finding Balance In A Dopamine Overloaded World - Dr Rangan Chatterjee with Dr Anna Lembke

Learning Points

1. Dopamine's Core Function and Misconceptions

   • Dopamine is a brain chemical essential for informing us about environmental and body state changes.
   • It signals things we should approach, work for, or pay attention to.
   • It is fundamental to addiction, released by highly pleasurable and reinforcing activities.
   • Misconception: Dopamine is not only released in response to pleasure; it can also be released by aversive stimuli that require attention. It is crucial for motivation, reward, and movement, and its depletion is linked to Parkinsonism.

How Humans Select And Keep Romantic Partners In The Short And Long Term - Dr Andrew Huberman with Dr David Buss

and also The Hidden Psychology of Sexual Conflict - Modern Wisdom with David Buss:

Learning Points

1. Evolutionary Psychology Framework
   • Dr. David Buss is a foundational figure in evolutionary psychology, which examines human psychology through the lens of evolutionary theory, focusing on the function of psychological mechanisms. It's essentially "psychology look[ed at] through the lens of evolutionary theory".
   • Sexual selection is a core concept, dealing with the evolution of characteristics due to their mating advantage, distinct from survival advantage. It involves two processes: intrasexual competition (same-sex rivalry for mates, often for status or resources) and preferential mate choice (one sex developing a consensus on desired qualities in the other).
   • Humans exhibit mutual mate choice, meaning both men and women have preferences and compete for desirable partners.
   • Long-term pair bonding is remarkably rare in the mammalian world (3-5% of species), making human long-term mating a unique evolutionary development involving attachment and significant male investment in offspring.

The Benefits of Sauna - Dr Rhonda Patrick

Learning Points

1. Broad Spectrum of Benefits
   • Sauna use is associated with a lower risk of death from cardiovascular disease, sudden cardiac death, coronary heart disease, stroke, dementia, and Alzheimer's disease.
   • There is also a 40% lower risk of dying from all causes of death for frequent users.
   • Sauna use contributes to improving "health span," which means extending the youthful part of life and improving the quality of life by preventing or delaying diseases like Parkinson's, Alzheimer's, cancer, cardiovascular disease, and type 2 diabetes.
2. Dose-Dependent Effects
   • The health benefits of sauna bathing are dose-dependent, meaning more frequent use leads to more robust effects.
   • For example, using the sauna 4 to 7 times a week significantly reduces the risk of sudden cardiac death (63% lower) compared to once a week (22% lower for 2-3 times/week).
   • Similarly, 4-7 times a week is associated with a 60-66% reduction in dementia and Alzheimer's risk compared to once a week.

Huberman Lab podcasts related to sleep - Dr Andrew Huberman

Sleep is absolutely critical to our health, far more than many realise. Here are a great set of podcasts to help understand sleep in more detail and figure out how to improve sleep:

Dr Matthew Walker on "The Science and Practise of Perfecting Your Sleep"

Dr Andrew Huberman on "Sleep Toolkit: Tools For Optimizing Sleep & Sleep-Wake Timing"

Learning Points

1. Definition and Importance of Sleep
   • Sleep is likely the single most effective thing you can do to reset your brain and body health.
   • It's an incredibly complex physiological process, fundamentally divided into two main types: non-rapid eye movement (non-REM) sleep and rapid eye movement (REM) sleep.

How to Build a Happy Life - How To Identify What You Enjoy Podcast

How To: Identify What You Enjoy: Learning Points

1. Defining Happiness Beyond a Feeling:
   • Happiness is not merely a feeling but is described as a "banquet" with three essential "macronutrients": enjoyment, satisfaction, and purpose.
   • Truly happy people have these three elements in abundance and balance.
   • Happiness is a byproduct of living a meaningful life, not a goal in itself, which can lead to disaster if pursued directly.
 

What Alcohol Does To Your Body, Brain & Health Podcast - Dr Andrew Huberman

Sometimes ignorance is better than the devil you know. I wish I hadn't listened to Dr Andrew Huberman's talk on the impact of alcohol, even for average alcohol consumption. Unfortunately I can't undo it now, for anyone else interested...

Learning Points

1. Alcohol's Toxic Nature and Widespread Effects:

   • Alcohol (ethyl alcohol/ethanol) is a known toxin that is both water- and fat-soluble, allowing it to easily pass into all cells and tissues of the body, including the brain.
   • It is metabolised in the liver into acetaldehyde, a more potent poison that indiscriminately damages and kills cells.
   • The calories from alcohol are "empty" as the metabolic process is costly and provides no nutritive value (vitamins, amino acids, fatty acids).
   • Being drunk is essentially a poison-induced disruption of neural circuits.

Why You SHOULD Take Personal Responsibility Podcast - The Diary of a CEO with Matthew Hussey

A nice clip from The Diary of a CEO on personal responsibility, fault vs responsibility and transition:

Distinguishing Responsibility from Fault

The core of this point lies in understanding that personal responsibility is not the same as fault. Matthew explains that while there are many things in life that are genuinely not our fault—such as trauma, injustice, or difficult circumstances—we can still take responsibility for how these situations affect us and how we choose to respond.

Steven Bartlett highlights this by referencing Lewis Howes, who exemplifies extreme ownership by stating, "and that's on me", even when discussing situations that appear to be someone else's fault. This isn't about blaming oneself for events outside of one's control, but rather about taking charge of one's internal state and actions in response to those events.

Dr Andrew Huberman's Huberman Lab Podcasts

A great set of podcasts on health, fitness and neuroscience:

Huberman Lab on Spotify

Huberman Lab Website

01

03

06

The Man in the Arena

A great extract from Theodore Roosevelt's "Citizenship in a Republic" speech, labelled "The Man in the Arena" that focuses on action and being resilient to failure rather than just a commentator. Someone who is heavily involved in a situation that requires courage, skill, or tenacity, as opposed to someone sitting on the side-lines and watching, is often referred to as "the man in the arena":

It is not the critic who counts;
not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles,

Seven tips for parenting teen boys: 'Nagging them is like shouting into a void'

https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2020/oct/10/seven-tips-for-parenting-teen-boys-nagging-them-is-like-shouting-into-a-void

Parenting teenage boys can be a challenging experience, but it's important to remember that their often difficult behavior is a phase and that underneath it all, they are vulnerable and seeking understanding. Biological and psychological changes, including surges of testosterone and brain development, contribute to their emotional volatility and risky behavior. Here are seven tips to help you navigate this stage:

1. Don't Shame Them

Avoid shaming your teenage son for his choices. Understand that his behavior is often a phase and that shaming him will only make things worse.

2. Educate Them About Their Development

Talk to your son about the hormonal and brain changes he is experiencing. This will help him to understand that he is not "stupid" and that what he is going through is normal.

How to Help Your Kids Build Self-Esteem

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-help-your-kids-build-self-esteem-1841909386

Don't Over-Praise

While it's natural to want to praise your children, over-praising them can be counterproductive. Constant praise can lower the bar for them, suggesting they no longer need to push themselves. True self-esteem comes not from praise, but from developing competence.

Focus on Competence

Self-esteem is built on three pillars: feeling loved, feeling secure, and developing competence. While parents often provide the first two, competence is something a child must build for themselves through effort and practice. Confidence comes from doing, trying, failing, and trying again.

How to Convince Yourself to Keep Going

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-convince-yourself-to-keep-going-1836858040

The article suggests that the key to convincing yourself to keep going is to change the way you talk to yourself. Specifically, it recommends using second-person self-talk.

Use "You" Instead of "I"

Research has shown that people who use "you" when they talk to themselves during difficult tasks perform better than those who use "I." This is because using "you" helps to create psychological distance, which allows you to see the situation more objectively and with less emotion. It's like you're coaching yourself from the sidelines.

How to Argue Better With Your Partner

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-argue-better-with-your-partner-1831076056

Acknowledge That Your Memory Is Flawed

A core learning point is that our memories are frequently unreliable, especially when we are upset. Arguing over who is "correct" about a past event is often a pointless exercise because both partners are likely remembering it incorrectly in some way.

• Action Point: For minor disagreements about past events, it's more productive to end the fight and make up rather than getting stuck trying to prove who is right. Let go of the need to have the "correct" version of the past.

Recognize That You Are Not Objective When Arguing

When you're in a fight, your brain is not operating at its best. It's "under-resourced," meaning there's literally less blood flow to the parts of the brain that handle error correction and rational thought. This makes you more likely to misinterpret your partner's intentions, actions, and non-verbal cues.

• Action Point: Instead of arguing further about a perceived slight, focus on calming the situation down with love and understanding. Address the specific misinterpretation later, after you've both had a chance to cool off.

How to Turn Unproductive Worries Into Productive Ones

https://lifehacker.com/how-to-turn-unproductive-worries-into-productive-ones-1821405263

Differentiate Between Productive and Unproductive Worries

The central learning point is to distinguish between two types of worry. Unproductive worries are the vague "what if" scenarios that are often outside of your control, such as the threat of nuclear war or a house fire. Productive worries, on the other hand, are concerns that can be translated into a concrete action plan today. The goal is to convert unproductive anxieties into productive actions.

Turn Worries Into Action Plans

The primary action is to analyze your worry and identify any aspect of it that you can control or change. Once you've identified a controllable element, you can create a to-do list to address it. This shifts your focus from a state of passive anxiety to one of active problem-solving.

• Action Point: When you start worrying about something, ask yourself: "Is there anything I can do today to reduce the likelihood of this worry coming true?" For example, if you worry about a house fire, your action plan could be to check your smoke alarm batteries and review escape routes with your family. If you worry about leaving the stove on, take a photo of the dials before you leave the house.

Have More Fun With Your Partner in the New Year

https://lifehacker.com/have-more-fun-with-your-partner-in-the-new-year-1821743176

Prioritize Playfulness and Novelty

A common theme in relationship advice is the importance of breaking out of ruts and introducing new, fun experiences. Over time, couples can fall into predictable routines, which can lead to boredom and a sense of disconnection. Actively seeking out new and playful activities can help to rekindle a sense of excitement and adventure.

• Action Point: Make a "fun list" together. Brainstorm a list of new activities you'd both like to try, from simple things like trying a new restaurant or taking a dance class to more adventurous ideas like planning a weekend getaway to a place you've never been.

These Questions Will Improve Your Relationships

https://lifehacker.com/these-questions-will-improve-your-relationships-1820517894

The Four Unspoken Questions in Every Relationship

The core learning point is that in every interaction, from casual acquaintances to romantic partners, people are unconsciously asking four fundamental questions seeking acknowledgment and affirmation. These questions, attributed to Maya Angelou, form the foundation of what makes a good relationship feel good. The four questions are:

1. Do you see me?
2. Do you care that I'm here?
3. Am I enough for you, or do you need me to be better in some way?
4. Can I tell that I'm special to you by the way that you look at me?

Diffuse an argument by asking what the other person wants from it

https://lifehacker.com/diffuse-an-argument-by-asking-what-the-other-person-wan-1797795022

The Core Problem: Arguments Often Obscure the Real Issue

The central learning point is that arguments are often not about the topic at hand. Strong emotions can muddle the true goal of the person initiating the conflict, leading to fights about tangential issues like dirty dishes when the real problem is feeling unappreciated. This creates a confusing and escalating cycle of frustration for both parties.

The Key Action: Ask "What Do You Want?"

Instead of engaging with the surface-level subject of the argument, the most effective way to defuse the situation is to calmly and respectfully ask what the other person is trying to accomplish with the fight. This simple question cuts through the emotional noise and gets to the heart of the matter.

• Action Point: When an argument starts, resist the urge to get defensive or debate the topic. Instead, pause and ask a direct, non-confrontational question like, "What do you want from this argument?" or "What are you trying to accomplish with this fight?"

Practicing compassion — not only decreases anxiety, but it also increases an overall state of calm

https://lifehacker.com/use-these-mental-tricks-to-prepare-for-dealing-with-unp-1797464982

Cultivate Compassion Through Mindfulness

The central learning point is that practicing mindfulness can increase your compassion, which in turn helps you deal more effectively with difficult or unpleasant people. Research from Stanford's Compassion Cultivation Training (CCT) program shows that compassion is a skill that can be learned and developed. By actively practicing compassion, you can decrease your own anxiety and increase your sense of calm when faced with challenging social interactions.

Notice Your Own Reactions

Before you can deal with someone else's behavior, you need to be aware of your own internal state. Mindfulness begins with self-awareness. Pay attention to how you're feeling and how your body is reacting in a stressful situation.

• Action Point: When you feel yourself getting anxious or irritated, take a moment to notice what's happening. Are your hands sweating? Is your heart racing? Acknowledging your physical and emotional state is the first step to managing it. Once you're aware of your reaction, you can determine what you need to do to calm yourself, such as taking a few deep breaths.

Spending money to save time == ++happiness

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/07/27/science/study-happy-save-money-time.html

Prioritize Time Over Money for Greater Happiness

The central learning point of the article is that people who prioritize their time over making more money tend to be happier. This challenges the common societal assumption that wealth is the primary driver of well-being. The research suggests that focusing on how you spend your time leads to more fulfilling choices and, ultimately, greater life satisfaction.

The "Time vs. Money" Mindset

The way you frame your choices—in terms of time or money—can significantly impact your happiness. When faced with a decision, such as taking on extra work, those with a "time" mindset are more likely to consider the personal cost of giving up their free time, while those with a "money" mindset are more likely to focus on the financial gain. The article suggests that consistently choosing time over money, when possible, leads to a happier life.

• Action Point: When making decisions, consciously ask yourself, "How will this affect my time?" rather than just, "How will this affect my finances?" This shift in perspective can help you make choices that are more aligned with your overall well-being.

Saying no

https://www.ft.com/content/0a7977ac-4cf5-11e7-919a-1e14ce4af89b

Embrace "No" as a Positive and Trendy Choice

The central learning point is that saying "no" has become a hallmark of successful people and a key to personal happiness. The cultural trend has shifted from a "say yes to everything" mindset to one that values the power of refusal. This is not just a selfish act but a strategic one that improves well-being and efficiency. Parwy: I have also read that the younger you are the more you should say "yes" and as the older you get the more you should start saying "no".

Celebrate Your Refusals

You shouldn't just say no; you should celebrate it. This reframes refusal from a negative act of disappointing someone into a positive act of self-care and prioritization. Celebrating your "no's" reinforces the habit and highlights the benefits you gain from it.

• Action Point: Start your day by mentally reviewing and giving thanks for the things you have successfully refused to do. This practice can improve your mood and increase your enthusiasm for the tasks you have willingly accepted.

Robert Waldinger: What makes a good life? Lessons from the longest study on happiness

The Single Biggest Predictor of a Good Life

The clearest message from the 75-year Harvard Study of Adult Development is this: Good relationships keep us happier and healthier. Period. Contrary to what many people believe, it is not fame, wealth, or high achievement that leads to a good life. The most important factor for long-term health and happiness is the quality of one's close, personal relationships.

Lesson 1: Social Connections are Critical for Well-Being

People who are more socially connected to family, friends, and community are happier, physically healthier, and live longer than people who are isolated. The experience of loneliness is toxic. Those who are more isolated than they want to be from others find that they are less happy, their health declines earlier in midlife, their brain functioning declines sooner, and they live shorter lives than people who are not lonely.

• Action Point: Actively work to combat loneliness. Make an effort to connect with the people around you in a meaningful way.

Simon Sinek on Millennials in the Workplace

Understanding the Millennial Challenge

The speaker identifies Millennials, defined as those born approximately from 1984 onwards, as a generation often perceived as difficult to manage, entitled, narcissistic, self-interested, unfocused, and lazy. Despite expressing desires for purpose, impact, free food, and bean bags in the workplace, they often remain unhappy. The core issue, according to the speaker, lies in four interconnected factors: parenting, technology, impatience, and environment.

The Impact of "Failed Parenting Strategies"

Many Millennials grew up with what are described as "failed parenting strategies". They were frequently told they were special and could have anything they wanted just by wishing for it. Some were placed in honours classes or given good grades without truly earning them, or received participation medals for simply showing up, even in last place. This approach, the speaker notes, devalues genuine achievement and can make recipients feel embarrassed, as they know they didn't deserve the recognition. Upon entering the real world, this fostered self-image is quickly shattered, leading to lower self-esteem than previous generations, "through no fault of their own".

Adjust Your Beliefs to Handle the Crappy Events In Your Life Better

https://lifehacker.com/adjust-your-beliefs-to-handle-the-crappy-events-in-your-1787057846

Events Don't Cause Your Feelings, Your Beliefs Do

The central learning point of the article is based on the ABC model from cognitive behavioral therapy. It's not the Adversity (the crappy event) that directly causes the Consequences (your feelings and actions). Instead, it's your Beliefs about the event that are the true cause of your emotional response. Many people mistakenly believe that external events dictate their happiness or anger, but this framework shows that you have a point of control: your own beliefs.

Recognize Your "Demanding" Beliefs

The article explains that our negative emotional responses often stem from rigid, irrational beliefs. These are often "demanding" beliefs that take the form of "shoulds," "musts," and "have tos." For example, believing "People must treat me fairly" or "I should always succeed." When reality doesn't conform to these rigid demands, we experience negative emotions like anger, anxiety, or depression.

• Action Point: When you experience a strong negative emotion, identify the underlying belief that's causing it. Look for absolute and demanding words like "always," "never," "must," "should," or "ought to." Recognizing these irrational demands is the first step to changing them.

If

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/If%E2%80%94

IF you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

Use the AIM Method to Take Control of Your Happiness

https://lifehacker.com/use-the-aim-method-to-take-control-of-your-happiness-1784614093

Take Control of Your Happiness with the AIM Method

The core idea behind the AIM method is that happiness is not a destination to be reached, but a mental state that can be practiced and cultivated. It's a framework for learning how to be happy regardless of your external circumstances. AIM is an acronym that stands for Attention, Interpretation, and Memory.

A: Attention

This principle is based on the idea that where you focus your attention, your emotional energy will follow. If you consistently seek out and dwell on things that are negative, stressful, or upsetting, you are essentially training yourself to be unhappy. Conversely, by consciously directing your attention toward positive and uplifting things, you can cultivate a happier mindset.

• Action Point: Be mindful of where you are directing your attention throughout the day. Make a conscious effort to spend more time and energy on activities, people, and thoughts that bring you joy and fulfillment. Actively disengage from things that consistently make you feel negative or stressed, such as "hate-reading" or dwelling on negative news.

Five Ways to Optimise Your Workspace for Productivity

https://lifehacker.com/five-ways-to-optimize-your-workspace-for-productivity-1784310012

1. Declutter Your Workspace to Reduce Stress and Improve Focus

Physical clutter in your workspace can overload your senses, leading to stress and impairing your ability to think creatively. A clean and organized space, on the other hand, promotes a sense of calm and control, allowing for better focus and productivity.

• Action Point: Implement a routine to keep your workspace tidy. This could include a daily "cleanse" at the end of each workday to clear your desk and prepare for the next day, as well as a more thorough monthly review to sort, file, and discard unnecessary items. Using smaller storage spaces can also help prevent the accumulation of clutter.

2. Optimize Your Environment with Natural Light and Fresh Air

The presence of natural light and fresh air in a workspace has been shown to improve mood, reduce stress, and stimulate productivity. Studies have even linked natural light to better sleep, which is essential for a productive workday.

• Action Point: If possible, choose a workspace near a window or skylight. If you're in a windowless space, make an effort to take regular breaks and walks outside. Even a few minutes of exposure to natural light and fresh air can make a significant difference.

The Scientific Argument for Mastering One Thing at a Time

https://lifehacker.com/the-scientific-argument-for-mastering-one-thing-at-a-ti-1783872506

Focus on One Habit at a Time for Lasting Change

The central argument of the article is that the most effective way to achieve significant, long-term self-improvement is to focus on mastering one single habit at a time. While it's tempting to try and overhaul your entire life at once, research shows that this approach is counterproductive. People who try to accomplish multiple goals simultaneously are less committed and less likely to succeed than those who focus on a single objective.

The Power of "Implementation Intentions"

A key learning point is the concept of "implementation intentions." This is a psychological principle stating that you are two to three times more likely to stick with a habit if you make a specific plan for when, where, and how you will perform the behavior. However, the crucial finding is that this powerful technique only works when you apply it to one goal at a time. Trying to create implementation intentions for multiple new habits at once negates the effect.

• Action Point: Don't just decide you want to start a new habit. Create a concrete plan. For example, instead of "I will exercise more," your plan should be "I will go for a 30-minute run in my neighborhood at 7:00 AM on Monday, Wednesday, and Friday."

Ease Anxiety Around Stressful Situations By Saying 'I Am Excited'

https://lifehacker.com/ease-anxiety-around-stressful-situations-by-saying-i-a-1783554808

Anxiety and Excitement Are Two Sides of the Same Coin

The core learning point is that anxiety and excitement are both high-arousal emotional states. Physiologically, they are very similar: your heart beats faster, cortisol surges, and your body prepares for action. The primary difference is our mental interpretation of these physical symptoms. Because they are so similar, it's much easier to transition from a state of anxiety to a state of excitement than it is to go from high-arousal anxiety to low-arousal calmness.

Reappraise, Don't Suppress

Trying to "calm down" when you're anxious is often ineffective and can even be counterproductive. When you focus on calming down, you're still dwelling on all the things that could go wrong. The key is to reappraise the situation and your body's reaction to it. By reframing the arousal as excitement, you shift your focus from potential threats to potential opportunities.

Change Someone's Mind

https://lifehacker.com/change-someones-mind-with-the-trinity-of-evidence-pers-1783660789

Beyond Evidence: The Trinity of Persuasion

The central learning point is that simply presenting evidence is often not enough to change someone's mind. Most people are resistant to admitting they are wrong because it involves abandoning their existing beliefs, habits, and social circles. To be truly persuasive, you need a combination of three key elements: evidence, persistence, and empathy. This "trinity" creates a more effective approach to changing minds.

The Role of Evidence

Evidence is the logical foundation of your argument. It provides the facts and data that support your position. However, the article emphasizes that evidence alone is rarely sufficient to sway a deeply held belief. It's a necessary component, but it needs to be delivered within a broader persuasive framework.

• Action Point: Gather strong, credible evidence to support your position. Be prepared to present it clearly and logically. However, don't expect the evidence to do all the work.

What Great Listeners Actually Do

https://hbr.org/2016/07/what-great-listeners-actually-do

Good Listening Is More Than Just Being Silent

The common perception of a good listener is someone who is quiet, nods along, and can repeat back what was said. However, this article argues that great listening is a much more active and engaged process. Simply being silent is not enough; in fact, it can be interpreted as passive or disengaged. The best listeners are active participants in a two-way conversation.

• Action Point: Move beyond passive listening. Instead of just staying quiet, prepare to engage in a constructive, two-way dialogue.

Great Listeners Ask Questions That Promote Discovery

Instead of just absorbing information, great listeners ask questions. These are not just clarifying questions, but questions that gently challenge assumptions and encourage deeper thinking. A good question demonstrates that you have not only heard what was said, but you've understood it well enough to want to explore it further. This helps the speaker to discover new insights and perspectives.

• Action Point: Practice asking questions that promote discovery and insight. Instead of "So, what you're saying is...", try questions that start with "What if..." or "Have you considered...". These types of questions can lead to more productive and insightful conversations.

Six Tactics to Keep Your Kids From Becoming Too Materialistic

https://lifehacker.com/six-tactics-to-keep-your-kids-from-becoming-too-materia-1783209273

Distinguish Between Wants and Needs

A core learning point is the importance of teaching children the fundamental difference between things they truly need and things they simply want. Materialistic desires often stem from an inability to make this distinction. By having open family discussions about finances, income, and expenses, children can begin to understand how their "wants" impact the family budget and learn to prioritize.

• Action Point: When a child asks for something, use it as a teachable moment. Have a conversation about whether the item is a "need" or a "want." Help them understand how your family makes decisions about spending money and why some "wants" have to be deferred or denied.

Give an Allowance with Purpose

Providing a regular allowance is a powerful tool for teaching financial literacy and curbing materialism. The key is to structure the allowance in a way that encourages thoughtful decision-making rather than just mindless spending.

• Action Point: Implement a three-part allowance system: one portion for spending, one for saving toward a larger goal, and one for giving to charity. This teaches children that money is not just for acquiring things for themselves but also a tool for saving and helping others.

Dilbert on Outsourcing, Powerpoint and other mumbo-jumbo :)

Love this!  Shows how silly some outsourcing plans can really be.

Going the Extra Mile Will Give You an Advantage

https://lifehacker.com/the-extra-mile-is-never-crowded-1748474610

https://lifehacker.com/consider-going-the-extra-inch-instead-of-the-extra-mile-1749321685

The Extra Mile Is Never Crowded

This principle advocates for putting in significantly more effort than what is required or expected. The core idea is that very few people are willing to do this, so by making the extra effort, you immediately stand out from the crowd. It's about distinguishing yourself from being "average" and becoming "extraordinary."

• Key Learning Point: The path to exceptional success is often less competitive because most people settle for doing just enough. Willingness to do more than what's necessary is a key differentiator.
• Action Point: Identify areas in your work or personal projects where you can do more than the bare minimum. This could be conducting extra research, making an extra follow-up call, or adding a thoughtful, unexpected touch to a project. Don't wait to be asked; proactively offer more.

The Serenity Prayer

Grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference

You Snooze, You Win: How a Lack of Sleep Can Hold Back Your Weight Loss

http://vitals.lifehacker.com/you-snooze-you-win-how-a-lack-of-sleep-can-hold-back-1736338596

Sleep Deprivation Sabotages Willpower and Decision-Making

A primary learning point from the article is that a lack of sleep significantly depletes your willpower. When you're sleep-deprived, your brain's ability to make sound decisions and resist temptation is dulled. This can manifest in poor food choices, as you're more likely to give in to cravings for sugary snacks. In a professional context, this diminished self-control can translate to procrastination, difficulty focusing, and making impulsive decisions that could negatively impact your work and career progression.

The happy secret to better work - Shawn Achor

The Flawed Formula for Success

The central learning point is that our common belief about success is backward. We tend to think, "If I work harder, I'll be more successful, and then I'll be happy." Achor argues this is a broken model because every time we hit a success, our brain changes the goalpost for what success looks like. This puts happiness over the cognitive horizon, always out of reach.

‘Give Away Your Legos’ and Other Commandments for Scaling Startups

http://firstround.com/review/give-away-your-legos-and-other-commandments-for-scaling-startups/

Embrace the "Give Away Your Legos" Philosophy

The central metaphor of the article is that in a scaling startup, your job is like playing with Legos. Initially, you have a lot of Legos and can build whatever you want. As the company grows and new people are hired, you have to share your Legos. The natural instinct is to hold on to what you've built, to micromanage, or to feel threatened. The key learning point is to fight this instinct. To grow personally at the same pace as the company, you must be willing to give away your responsibilities, the "Lego towers" you've built, to others. This allows you to move on to building bigger and better things.

Understand That Scaling is Counterintuitive and Uncomfortable

Scaling a company is an inherently chaotic and stressful process. It's filled with ambiguity and constant change. A key takeaway is to recognize that the emotional turmoil you and your team feel is normal. Leaders should actively communicate this to their teams. When employees start asking questions like, "Why did we hire that person?" or "Is So-and-so taking over my project?" it's a sign that it's time to talk about the "give away your Legos" philosophy.

Why Generation Y Yuppies Are Unhappy

http://waitbutwhy.com/2013/09/why-generation-y-yuppies-are-unhappy.html

The Happiness Equation

A core concept of the article is that happiness can be understood with a simple equation: Happiness = Reality - Expectations. When your reality exceeds your expectations, you're happy. When your expectations are higher than your reality, you're unhappy. Generation Y yuppies (or "GYPSYs," as the author calls them) often find themselves in the latter category.

Why Expectations Are So High

The article suggests that Generation Y was raised by Baby Boomer parents who, after experiencing significant economic prosperity, encouraged their children to "shoot for the moon." This led to a generation that is wildly ambitious, not just seeking a stable and prosperous career, but a fulfilling one. They were often told they were special and could achieve anything, leading to a sense of entitlement and the belief that a great career is a given.

Lifehacker: Focus On What You Can Do, Not What You Should Do

http://vitals.lifehacker.com/focus-on-what-you-can-do-not-what-you-should-do-1720078724

You know those moments when you’ve gobbled up an entire pizza and you mutter, with sauce still dribbling down your lips, “I shoulda ate only one slice?” But you didn’t, and the regret of bygone decisions only further undermines your drive to achieve your health goals. Here’s how you can pick yourself up, stop worrying about what you should’ve done, and focus on what you can do.

Lifehacker: How I Built Better Habits With Calendar Appointments

http://vitals.lifehacker.com/how-i-built-better-habits-with-calendar-appointments-1721459016

Key Learning Points:

• Building habits takes a lot of time: The article debunks the myth that habits are formed in 21 days, citing a study that suggests it can take anywhere from 18 to 254 days. This emphasizes the need for patience and consistent effort over a long period.
• Remembering to do the habit is a major challenge: Often, the difficulty in forming a new habit lies in simply remembering to perform the action consistently.
• Ignoring alerts is a sign of a problem: If you find yourself consistently dismissing calendar alerts for your new habit, it's a signal that your approach needs adjustment. This could be due to the task being too complex, the timing being wrong, or the alert itself being ineffective.
• Small successes build momentum: Focusing on small, repeatable steps helps to build foundational skills and makes the habit less daunting, leading to greater success in the long run.

The Truth About Dishonesty

The Flexible Nature of Honesty and Rationalisation

Humans are engaged in a constant internal conflict: the desire to view themselves as honest while simultaneously benefiting from dishonest acts. Thanks to our "flexible cognitive psychology" and the ability to rationalise our actions, we can do both. The speaker highlights that we tend to cheat "just a little bit", allowing us to gain from dishonesty while still maintaining a self-perception as good, honest people. This rationalisation is key; the more we can rationalise an action, the more dishonest we can be without feeling bad. The research, involving 30,000 people, revealed that while there are very few "big cheaters," there is a vast number of "little cheaters" whose collective minor transgressions (e.g., 18,000 individuals stealing $36,000 in total) have a far greater economic impact than the few major ones (e.g., 12 individuals stealing $150). This pattern is argued to reflect real-world society, where the majority of dishonesty stems from generally good people cheating slightly.

Carol Dweck: The power of believing that you can improve

Two Mindsets: Fixed vs. Growth

The core concept of the talk is the distinction between two mindsets. A "fixed mindset" is the belief that your intelligence, abilities, and talents are fixed traits that you're born with and cannot change. People with a fixed mindset see challenges as risks and failure as a devastating judgment of their core abilities. In contrast, a "growth mindset" is the belief that your abilities can be developed through dedication, effort, and good strategies. People with a growth mindset embrace challenges, persist through setbacks, and see failure as an opportunity to learn and grow.